I'm Not A Real Doctor, But They Call Me Dr. Worm

[Yugikun]

And there, sent. The smaller window that was on his tab had now disappeared, replacing itself with the half informative half partially flirty message that Jeremy had just sent. He sat up on his bed, looked outside. It was a pretty nice day, judging from how clear the sky was. No way from telling the temperature from inside here but it wasn't really like that the temperature was going to affect him anyway. He looked back to his computer. Okay, now was a suitable time. He got up, gently sliding himself off the bed as he headed out towards the back door of his house. He already knew what the answer to the question would be but it was bet to announce what he was doing anyway, just so she didn't take a look into his room and freak out because he wasn't anywhere near the house. That could result in problems, so it was probably for the best that he did this.

He found her sitting on the stairs just outside the backdoor, smoking. He didn't and never approved of her habit but he had never tried convincing her to quit after like, six years old or so. No real point in doing it, really. She'd been doing it for so long that he doubted that she'd listen to him if he pointed out how it was literally killing her. Oh well. Not like he wanted her to die (he certainly didn't) but sometimes he had to know when to try and quit convincing someone of something. If he didn't then he'd be stuck in a losing argument forever.

But anyway, he opened the back door:

"Hey, it okay if I go for a walk?"

"Yeah, sure," she replied.

"Neato," he said slightly quietly as he headed back out to the front door, opening it and jumping over the mini-garden at the front as he headed off down the footpath.

((Jeremy Frasier, continued from whatever his post Sadie Hawkins thread is called. It likely won't exist at this point but whatever, it's still canon.))

Okay. Wait. Slow down. He didn't really quite get what just happened and would really like some sort of universal remote for his life so that he could rewind and catch all that. Wow Jeremy, you suck. Somehow everyone managed to understand that part except for you. Here, let me explain it so that it can get into your plebian head. Basically, he was going for a walk to a couple of the parks because that was something he did. It was an obligation on his part that whenever there was a day that he didn't go to school he'd go for a walk when there was nothing happening/nothing he had to do at home to make up for lost exercise. Unlikely to actually make him lose some weight but whatever, he had no running stamina so he had to make do with what he could. Besides, these walks were actually pretty fun to do. Allowed him to marinate in his own thoughts while he took in the luscious sights of nature. Granted, he cared about one much more than he cared about the other and it was unlikely for him to actually be able to do the one he cared about because his mind had basically no focus and kept going on random tangents but hey, when he had something he wanted to think about going on a walk at the very least gave him some progress on it, so it was at the very least slightly helpful.

Really, though, he didn't have anything that he wanted to think about today. Reason he was out walking was because he had done everything he needed to and he was just kinda waiting for things to reset. He made the finishing touches to his English essay, he finally beat Bravely Default, and it was now currently BB's turn to send an email given that he had just sent one to her right before he left. They didn't get to talk much at school, given that they didn't share any of their classes and that they were in two totally different social circles, but they still kept in touch via email and Jeremy wasn't really planning on cutting communication with her any time soon. He definitely wasn't in love with her, but anyone he could actually care to open up with wasn't someone he'd be suddenly abandoning anytime soon.

It'd suck when she'd eventually stop responding to his emails, but he'd get over it eventually. Course of life would probably make it so that he'd at some point find another person like BB and he'd be so caught up in the moment that he'd eventually forget about her, like her him.

But okay, recap over, back to the story at hand here. Walking. Down the street which unless things suddenly changed over the course of a week should lead into a park with a couple tennis courts within. He looked at the houses, trying to see what was in the front gardens so that if that asshole dog was there he could cross the street and figure out a different way to get to where he wanted to go. He had encountered it one time when he was coming back from a walk and it was being super in his face and barking at him and he didn't really want to pass it in fear that it'd try to fuck him up. Which was a valid concern, given how loud it was being and how it was following him when he tried to cross the street. Really, he didn't know why the whole Cats V.S Dogs thing was even an actual debate. Dogs were assholes. Like, people said that cats didn't care about their owners but at the very least you didn't see reports about how someone got mauled to death by their neighbours cat. He snorted. Case closed, cats were far better than dogs and that one movie that placed dogs as pedestals that could do no wrong was now on the wrong side of history.

But anyway, walking down the street, trying to stay focused so that he could actually think of something important to think about rather than random things about his life. Or rather, things about his life that had already happened and couldn't be changed. Quick, think of something that he had actually done this year!

...


...


Yeah, nope. As much as he wanted to think that he'd actually made some progress he hadn't yet done anything that actually mattered. He still had two thirds or three quarters of the year left but it was likely that he was just going to finish high school and use that as an excuse to relax and be a lazy ass for the rest of the year. Nothing had happened, nothing will happen. Story of his life.

Well, okay, that wasn't really fair. Coming down to it he definitely advanced a lot, at least on the social side. Maybe not as good as 2014 or 2012 but he definitely had a lot more friends than he had last year. BB was a given, he had talked a little bit with Samuel and talked about writing for a bit, couldn't really talk to him that much except for when they had English but hey, it was there, and it definitely got on Adelaide's nerves so he was totally fine with that. He had even gotten Ty to stop hating him for a little bit, he wasn't really willing to test the waters with him to see if it stuck but at least now Bernadette wasn't looking at him like he was the Antichrist now, so at least there-

The car rushed past in front of him and he stepped back, heart going from 0 to 100 as he snapped back to reality. His foot was on the road. The rest of his body was on the island located in the middle. Normally he'd question the name of the thing he was standing on but there was the massive looming fact that he had almost gotten run over blaring and repeating and rippling itself in the confines of his brain. Okay. Step back. At least now his mind could subside without the risk of almost getting run over again. He turned his head, tried to see what had almost run him over. Red car, turning the corner up the hill and apparently not having noticed Jeremy's presence.

He probably would've if Jeremy had taken one more step forward. Then his leg would have been blown off and he'd likely break about half the bones in his body and the person in the car would stop and step out. Twenty something man, had his license for many years but only really used it to get to and from work rushing out of the car not knowing who or what had just happened but scared that he had just become a murderer.

Wait, bad thoughts. Baaaad thoughts. He knew that he liked thinking of situations of things that could happen to him and for the most part those were okay as normally they were of him as a superhero or a supervillain or something but he imagined that thoughts detailing the aftermath of him getting hit by a car and killed weren't exactly healthy.thoughts to have. Maybe they were okay to have on their own but he didn't really want to risk having those thoughts escalate and having him go back into his year 10 form again. His classes didn't suck now, he was over that, so he slowly took a step. Looked around - making sure he actually obeyed crosswalk procedure this time - and took the next couple steps to the other side of the road. There. Good. He made further steps, leaving the road behind him and starting to walk on the concrete path in front of him. No new feeling under his feet. Not that he really would have noticed, though.

He went down this concrete path, and as it turned to head towards a toilet block and that part of the road he separated from it, walking forwards onto the dry grass. He knew where he wanted to go and sit, and he hoped at at this time there wasn't going to be anyone there, because normally when he was there there was some other family there and that made it really awkward for him to sit down on one of the park benches as they normally faced that family and it made him look like a creeper/weird dude/pedophile/whatever. Probably not the third one out of those four because he was a minor and he didn't think that minors could be recognised by pedophiles (?) but he always/liked to assume the worst out of every situation. Seneca way of thinking. Expect the worst so that if the best happened then your expectations can be defied and the good thing can be even better. Also why you don't outright say what result out of a luck based thing you wanted to happen because if you do that the result that you want to happen won't. Rule of tempting fate, or something like that.

Also he wasn't sure if he had already mentioned this or had forgotten about it until now but wow, this sun sucked. Unlike the last few months they didn't really hit the goldilocks conditions of being just right, instead leaning to the "too hot" side of the equation. Didn't bother him too much though. As he had probably mentioned ad nauseum times he didn't mind the temperature too much. Didn't even notice it unless someone pointed it out, and considering this was only really going to be a short walk around here it wasn't going to affect his walk. Might make his ear itchy later and he might sweat a little and small like shit because of both of these afterwards but in the now it was far from a problem.

Anyway, though, he arrived at his location. Abandoned playground that probably needed reservations. Small slide, swings, little things that kids span around on until they were dizzy and one giant trapeze swing off to the side. He was pretty sure that it also used to be a flying fox swing, but now the thing was locked in place in the middle and if a kid wanted to move from end to end they probably had to do it from the middle. The place was a sort of memoric relic from where he was eight years old. Back from when he lived on the other side of town his grandma lived in this area and occasionally every Friday after school they'd go to her house for a bit and during this they'd occasionally walk her dog. Sheba or Zheba; couldn't remember what letter it was spelt with but he had the pronunciation and the main gist of it. Whenever they went for a walk, they'd come here and he and Sandra would play on the swings for a bit until his Dad felt like it was a good idea to go back and they crossed the creek.

Go back forward to two years ago and at that point that tradition was one that was long gone. The dog got cancer and died, homework had become much more a much more prominent part of the lives of Jeremy and Sandra Frasier and a year before the point his grandma was no longer able to take care of herself and had to go to a retirement home, where they visited every Sunday until one visit where Jeremy felt stressed out about a History assignment and spent the whole time wishing he wasn't there and that he could just go home already as they had a birthday party for another one of the patients.

Eventually, they did. Six days later his grandma had internal problems of some sort and had to be rushed to the hospital. Mom had to be out all day for that one; and the only things Jeremy could get were through her. Whatever the issue was, it was fixed and everything was fine.

Until a day later, when whatever internal issues she had came back.

That time, they weren't able to save her.

And apparently, a day before, his mother had talked to her as his grandma laid on the hospital bed and his grandma talked to her about how brave and selfless her grandchildren had grown up to be.

...Yeah. Far from the greatest moment of his life. Something that even as he grew old and had grandchildren of his own he'd never want himself to forget.

Wait, tangent. Whoops.

Back to actually what the story was supposed to be. A year after that, Jeremy left the house he had lived in his whole life and entered a house which happened to be in the same general area. Well, that was still a little bit more into the future yet. At this point they (his dad) were still renovating it. He mostly just sat around and waited until he had to do some heavy work. Anyway, at some point, he got bored, and he asked his dad if he could just take a general walk around the area. Not really surprisingly, he said yes, and that's what Jeremy did. He went to the front of the house, turned left, and (huh wow he probably did go on the same route as he did today, go figure) eventually found this place again. Not really something important or life-changing or anything like that, but it was a nice little actual surprise and a little bit of a nostalgia trip to a point of his life where he'd actually be happy with himself every day.

The place wasn't that important to him, though. Only reason he really came here was because of the peace and quiet it normally brought and the fact that it was a pretty good nexus to other places which he'd be tired out if/when he tried to walk.  Former was normally interrupted because some families and their kids would come as mentioned earlier but today the place was empty. Which was good, as Jeremy kinda wanted some time to himself. He sorta also had it inside the house but at least here he'd have better scenery and he'd get some exercise out of it.

But okay. Now to the important topic.

Thinking.

About what, though?

...Okay, they got him there. Probably should've thought of something that he wanted to make progress on before he came galloping out here. At least when he got back home things would reset and he'd have something to do again. BB would email him, - actually wait that was the only thing that'd reset. Today was on the weekend. No new homework and as per his rules he wasn't even going to play another game until he eventually got bored and started binging on Rebirth tomorrow. Not really much point in going out here in terms of passing time and he didn't even come out here with a discussion topic. He seriously wasn't on his A-game today. He sat down on one of the park benches.

Wait, no. He had beaten a game and completed an assignment. Today was a progressive day.  Even if he made one mistake that didn't mean that the entire day had been wasted on his part. That'd be recency bias, or something. He wasn't quite sure what the actual name of the term was where as if one item in a list was new and different from the others therefore that entire list was like that item, or something. Recency bias seemed like the right name, so that was what he was going to use. Carry on. Think of something to think. You remember thinking of something that actually kinda interested you before the car came but what was it?

Oh yeah. Now he remembered, and now that he wasn't going to get interrupted it seemed like the question beared repeating. Had Jeremy done anything of worth this year? If so, what was it?

Well, the answer to that question was simple. Yes, he had done stuff. Not counting anything related to academics or video games he made friends with Samuel, found someone close to him in BB and maybe actually mended his relationship with Ty. Sure there were failures along the way such as his attempted conversation with Alice and the whole fiasco with Fiyori but ultimately he had advanced himself so far socially. Yes, he had done stuff, and he knew what it was.

Okay then, next question. How much of what he did this year actually mattered?

...

...

Okay, he had to admit, he didn't really know how to answer that question. To be fair though, he doubted how anyone would be able to. Passage of time and all that - the past is far behind us, the future doesn't exist yet and nobody knows what it'd be like. Anything could happen. Maybe tomorrow the government and special forces would finally get their shit together and take out the Arthro Taskforce. Maybe right after that his parents would get their shit together and realise that shouting at your child doesn't exactly do the greatest things for them. Maybe in a week or so he'd get his shit together and actually try to hold a conversation with Jojo or something.

Don't count on it though. Somehow he could talk to random people who were basically strangers in his year and he yet he basically malfunctioned whenever someone did something he didn't expect. Prime example: BB. When she initially asked him out using that ridiculously corny speech he could barely even create a sentence in his head. Even if somehow everything worked perfectly for the world and for his living conditions how would he be able to overcome that?

He sighed, leaning back on the park bench. Three words bounced around his head. Passage of time. Could be used to answer any question there was about the future. If anyone ever asked him his opinion about whether something could happen or not he could just say "anything could happen" and it'd be acceptable. Time and fate are marvelous things, and even within the past if there was even just a minor difference everything could change. A butterfly beating its wings in China could cause a tornado over here in America. If Gwyneth Paltrow misses her train she ends up a lot happier with her life in the end.

If Jeremy had started his walk one second earlier he would have been hit by that car.

Oh yeah, there was that as well. Death. Kind of a big thing. Could happen to anyone at any time and nobody quite knew when it would happen to a person. Nobody quite knew what happened after, either. Of course, there were ideas out there that at least attempted to answer the question of what happened, but there wasn't any proof.

He laid his head back, looked at the sky for a bit. That was one of the reasons why people decided to adopt a religion. They happened to have the answers to the questions that science didn't have anything for and that helped to give people faith. What happens after we die? We go to some sort of afterlife. Why does suffering exist? Either caused by desire or a result of the original sin. Where did we come from?

Why are we here?

He sighed again. No clue. None of the ideas he had in his head even came close to giving a theory for that. He figured that the soul existed, and there was something out there, but neither of those two ideas came close to answering that question. He had to admit though, the question enticed him a little bit. People (at least in this day and age) went to school, got some sort of job so that they could pay their taxes, eventually settled down, grew old, and died. Maybe they found someone else that they ended up marrying or having children with, and he knew that just putting it out like that made it sound a lot worse and far more simple than it really was; but really, nothing he said really sounded like something fulfilling or fun.

So, as he had figured many times and walks before, maybe there was something that happened that made it fun. Made it fulfilling. His theory was that there was something that happened to every person on this earth - didn't have to be unique, nobody would really know if it wasn't - that ultimately defined them. A moment that when everyone grew old they would look back on and realise that that was what their whole life was about. Kinda sounded glum putting it that way (whoops), but really it was anything but. The big moment, the climax. He hoped that it'd happen to him soon. He hoped that he was right about this. Because really, he didn't really want to work an office job his whole life; nobody did, really, but honestly he'd rather be finding out the answer to what happened after someone died than having to spend all day at a cubicle doing the work of someone else. He didn't want to be in Kingman: Small town where nothing happened and nothing ever will. He wanted to be out there, applying himself to something. Being somewhere where he didn't have to pay taxes or stare at a screen or be literally his own antithesis.

...

Y'know what? Fuck it. Considering how far he'd gone here right now it was unlikely that he was going to make any actual progress. May as well just mope while he laying on his bed, or something.

He got up, and started walking across the river that would eventually lead him on the path home.

Maybe someday he'd figure it out.

((Jeremy Frasier, continued in Survival of the Fittest: Version 6))