What I Needed They'll Pay

[Espi]

((Blair Moore continued from Let's Awaken, By the Day))

Blair had nearly arrived at the docks when she collapsed.

The flight had apparently proven effective, because nobody seemed to be around. She heard voices in the distance, near the docks she'd bet, but she couldn't see anyone. Probably a good thing, because she was easy pickings. Her shitty useless lungs had her making ugly sobbing noises as she dragged in oxygen and expelled it in painful repetition.

She'd been stupid, she realized as she got up to her hands and knees, stomach aching from seizing up. She'd let her emotional state dictate her decisions. Already in a reckless rush from revealing her weakness and vulnerability, she'd made a poor decision that had almost cost her dearly.

She could've died.

The recognition wasn't a fearful one; she could've died in the hospital lots of times. She'd been scared then. But now? It hardly mattered. She had no hope of survival, logistically speaking. She was weak physically, unarmed. She didn't have any special survival skills or training with weapons. Blair had no future.

But.

Hadn't she thought that two days ago, when she'd woken up? She'd been so sure she was going to die. After Jennifer, she'd been sure she was screwed. But nobody had done her in. That was an interesting situation to find herself it. Doomed from the start, but well past her expiration date so far. Blair sat up and crossed her legs, clutching her chest. heart palpitating. She wasn't sure what kind of greater meaning she was thinking of here, but there was probably something poignant about her continued existence. Maybe...

Was she as screwed as she thought?

Well probably. The odds were certainly stacked against her. But they were just odds. Maybe she'd gotten lucky so far. But she could easily be lying dead on the beach right now. Maybe Noah was back there, still. She had apparently lost him and Rene, and that other girl too. But she was alive, if nobody else.

Was she going to find them?

It was unlikely. They'd been looking for Sandra this whole time, and Blair had little doubt the group was all but totally scattered by this point. She bit her lip, he breathing slowing down at last. She might -hell, almost definitely-never see Noah or Rene again.

So where did that leave her? A quick dig through her bag left her with her rations; 4 energy bars, the untouched crackers, about half the bread, and two bottles of water were all that remained. Blair bit her lip harder. That was enough for, maybe three days left of food, maybe. She'd worry about that later.

But for now, she wanted to get going. Where, who knew. Why? Good question. Blair didn't know what she was going to do next. But she wasn't going to give up, not yet. As long as she was alive, she was going to fight to stay that way, odds be damned. For now, that meant looking for Noah and Rene at the beach she'd left. She needed some form of protection if she was going to stay alive, even if it was a person that was with her. She'd just need to watch her back.

Standing up and slinging her pack over her shoulder, Blair started moving towards the shoreline again, with renewed purpose. Stay alive, stay strong, and don't give up.

((Blair Moore continued in Forlorn and Forgotten Knowledge))