I Imagine Death So Much It Feels Just Like A Memory

[Emprexx Plush]

((Ty Yazzie Continued From Topic Title))

On the bright side of things, this was the first time he'd been able to find a bed in this place. It felt good to lay down on something that wasn't hard as rock for once. After all that running and lifting and screaming he might just be due a rest. Could fool himself into thinking he was gonna go back and find Clarice and Keith after he'd had a chance to lay down, like they weren't already long gone.

On the other hand he couldn't help but stare at the plaque on the wall. Goddamn, this place was fucked long before they got into it. In a twisted kinda way he had to wonder if all of them dying was even gonna register compared to what could have gone on here. Ty didn't know much about asylums and the like, but he'd heard stories about the old places like this. If a lobotomy was their idea of a moment worth celebrating, he didn't wanna see what they kept in the dark.

Just a distraction though. Something to keep his mind off of everybody. It was a real mess he was in this time, but the worst part? He just wasn't sure he had the strength to try and fix it anymore. Could maybe consider the fact that he only directly hurt Conrad getting off easy, all things considered. Couldn't get Clarice's eyes out of his head though, or the way she stumbled over talking to him. After everything she was still looking at him like that.

How would Atsa look at him if he somehow made it home? Or mom and dad? Hell, even Marcus?

Maybe he didn't wanna find out anymore.

[Deamon]

((Kimiko Kao continued from Takao))

Kimiko didn't know what to do. She had killed someone and she didn't even know who they were. It was a different feeling from all her previous kills, she had known who the person was with all the others. The girls name still rattled around in her head, disconnected from everything else. She knew the girls name had been Jasmine but she didn't know any Jasmine's. She felt a roiling in her gut, like a storm brewing. If her place in the afterlife had ever been in question before now it was settled.

There was no going back from what she had done. She was especially aware of the gun in her pocket, even though it was in her possession it still felt like she was continuing Nancy's legacy. The gun was an instrument of death and she had used it to its fullest potential. Some pacifist she had ended up being.

Kimiko felt sick and like she wanted to cry but she forced both feelings down. They wouldn't help anything. The girls face flashed in her mind and she tried to remember it but the details were already hazy. Her subconscious already trying to forget what she had done.

Looking around Kimiko found she had wandered to the staff lounge. Not wanting to stand in the corridor Kimiko decided to re-enter it. What she had just done still took up most of her attention and she did so in a daze. It was stupid and reckless and Kimiko was immediately angry with herself when she realized the she lounge already had an occupant. Her hand instinctively went to the gun but she forced herself to just rest it on the grip.

The girl, Jasmine, appeared in her mind again and she let her hand drop.

Instead she waited to see the reaction of the occupant.

[Emprexx Plush]

Ty knew her. Some friend of Clarice's he'd seen from time to time. She'd stuck a hell of a lot more in his head once he started hearing her name damn near everyday on the announcements. Kimko'd been busy these last few days, and for a moment it looked like she was about to get right back to it with him.

'cept she didn't. For some reason she didn't draw on him, just stopped and stared until her hand left the gun. Ty sat up real slow to show that he wasn't up to nothing. Cracked his neck with his palm around his chin and winced. "Second thoughts? Not complainin', mind, just surprised." He rolled over to sit with his legs hanging off the side of the bed. If he remembered right, she couldn't talk. If that's what she was looking for they'd have to figure something out. He was more inclined to do that than get shot, though. Least for now.

"I ain't lookin' for trouble. If you're tryin' to lay down I'll move on, you can have this one."

[Deamon]

Kimiko shook her head. She knew leaving would be best bringing herself to actually do it was harder than she expected. She was just frozen where she was. Eventually she shook her head and shrugged. She didn't know what she wanted. She knew she was doomed, hell awaited her once she finally left the world. But she wanted and needed to keep going for Caleb and out of fear for what awaited her at the end of her journey.

Ty wasn't aggressive though. He seemed like something had happened to him. There was a lack of spirit in the way he moved and talked, Kimiko didn't know for sure if it was there or if she was imagining it but she felt like he had given up almost.

She raised her hands up in a placating gesture before starting to sign out a response.

"No, you can stay."

Kimiko waited for his reaction. It was weird, they both knew each other through Clarice and had met before but Kimiko couldn't think of a time they had ever been alone together. The situation was ironic in a way. Kimiko swallowed as the sick feeling rose in her throat. The knowledge of what she had done was still haunting her whenever her thoughts wandered. The moment replaying over and over again. She had acted without thinking and killed when she had no intention to.

She shook her head a little and returned her gaze to Ty, waiting to see what he would do.

[Emprexx Plush]

It seemed she was fine with him sticking around and wasn't about to shoot him, so Ty didn't get up. He didn't know much sign so they probably weren't gonna get real deep, but he could pick up the broad strokes of simple shit like that. That might be good enough for them to both come out of this a little better. All bets were off.

Ty ran a hand through his hair and sighed, staring off above her through the doorway. "Y'know, I heard your name out there a few times. You're a murderer."

'nother short pause. Still didn't look her in the eye, just kept rubbing his head and staring off into the distance. "Can't seem to be angry about that though, 'cuz you didn't take anybody from me."

His eyes came down on her for just a moment. "Two or three people dead and I can't work myself up cuz I didn't know 'em. Barely even got the energy to get pissed off about the folks I did care about anymore."

They left again, this time to the plaque on the wall.

"Ain't that fucked."

[Deamon]

Kimiko didn't know what to say in response to Ty. He was right but the way he described everything didn't leave much room for her to do anything but nod. He seemed more understanding than Kimiko had been expecting, Ty had a reputation around school for his anger and while she knew he had been working on it there was always the knowledge of what it was like. It was strange to see him the way he was. Calm, almost melancholy. Kimiko couldn't blame him for that. The island changed people, she had found that out and the same thing had happened to her.

She even found herself mentally correcting the number of kills he said she had.

Jasmine entered her mind as she thought about how she had shot at her without any hesitation. Instinct taking over without a second thought as to what was actually happening.

He was right.

"It is."

Even if she hadn't taken anyone from Ty she had still ruined lives. Families back in Kingman had to live with the knowledge their children weren't coming back and it was her fault. Jasmine's parents would be left with the knowledge that their daughter died purely because she had been in the wrong place around the wrong person.

Again she was forced to spell out each letter individually to make sure none of her meaning was lost.

"Can't change it."

[Emprexx Plush]

Awhile ago they mighta never had this conversation. Seeing someone like her in all his foam and fury probably would have ended in one of them dead. But here they were, having a polite conversation about her being a killer.

Didn't know quite how to feel about that.

"Nah. 'spose we can't. Can only change ourselves."

Ty squared his gaze on her again, but there wasn't any of the anger or conviction or, hell, even curiosity that might be expected from the way they were talking. Wasn't much left in them at all anymore. Not even sadness. They were just...tired. He didn't say anything more. They said enough.

[Deamon]

Kimiko looked into his eyes, trying to find anything: anger, resentment, hate, pity. There was none of those things, just someone who had nothing left to give to the game they were trapped in. Who had nothing else that could be taken from them. Ty looked like he had nothing left in his body.

It made her question why she kept pushing forwards even with the knowledge that someone she has never known was dying due to what she had done and she hadn't tried to stop it from happening. What would Ty have thought then? If he knew what she had just done.

What he said had shaken her though. Kimiko had already changed during her time on the island and she knew it wasn't for the better. Her changes were still things she turned over in her head and struggled with whenever she had a chance to stop and think. She didn't know if she could change back.

She slowly nodded at Ty and then ran her gaze over the room before returning to him. Her question unspoken.

What now?

[Emprexx Plush]

There'd been a few things keeping Ty going these last few days. Anger. Hate. Hope. Love. Stubbornness. Could pick your poison. By now they'd all misted up into different people. He could see them there in the room, hovering around him.

Conrad. Brendan. Isabel. Harry. Bee. Lizzie. Atsa. Marcus. Mom. The old man. Chaplin. Hell, even Beans.

Everybody'd spent some time on his shoulder these last few days at one time or another. Holding him back, urging him on, calming him down. He'd seen it all from time to time, most clearly when he was all strung out from not sleeping. Nah. That wasn't quite true. He'd seen it all most clear when he was sleeping. Matter of fact he'd just about run into a vision of that relaxing over here. He could feel it in his bones, that weight of everybody who meant so much to him creeping closer and closer in. Even when his eyes shut tight to try and think, Ty could see them all real clearly. Right back into their eyes. Especially the eyes as they drilled in around him.

Right 'round the circle they all looked at him the same way Clarice did.

His eyes were wet when he opened them back up to look at her. There was something in them now. Something real dark that he figured neither of them wanted to face, but here they were. His voice cracked as he spoke again.

"You ever wonder if you still got a home to go back to?"

[Deamon]

Kimiko tilted her head at Ty. She had been avoiding confronting the question she had just been asked by Ty. It was something she thought about if left to think by herself for too long and every answer she came up with was painful to consider.

What if her parents didn't want her back? She was sure that society wouldn't want her back and Caleb's family would hate her. She had lost her parents a lot of face through her actions and she had betrayed key teachings of Taoism. She would be lucky to be welcomed home and she was scared what things would be like if she ever managed to make it back.

The truth was she had no idea what waited for her if she managed to get home. She had ideas but they were just fantasy. The fact she didn't know for sure terrified her.

Her eyes met Ty's but she didn't say anything until they fell to the floor.

She had no answer to his question.

[Emprexx Plush]

Yeah. That about added up with his expectations. He couldn't look at her after that.

"Doesn't matter. 'spose we probably won't find out."

They were gonna die here anyway. One person out of everyone was gonna get out of here, and if the two of them were this fucked up already, he didn't wanna imagine what kinda shape they'd be in. What kind of person could actually get out of here and still be even sorta functional in the real world? Couldn't say he could picture it. Couldn't say he wanted to.

Ty looked up at the plaque on the wall again. Hell of a way to go. Right about now, though, it was starting to look merciful. Might be the guilt talking.

[Deamon]

They both couldn't look at each other now. The heaviness in the room seeping over them as they both considered how things would be.

Kimiko shook her head a little to bring her thoughts back into the room. Dwelling on home wouldn't do her any good, she needed to focus on her goal.

There was no point staying, Ty had become wrapped up in his own thoughts and there was nothing else she wanted to say. Instead Kimiko just turned and slowly walked towards the exit of the room. As she did so she thought about the conversation she had just had with Ty. A lot of it had covered things neither of them wanted to talk about, unspoken truths but there was also another unspoken truth that existed between the two of them.

The difference between Kimiko and Ty was clear. He seemed to have accepted that he was likely going to die on the island. Kimiko however needed to get off the island, anything else would have been a failure.

That was what drove Kimiko to turn around and draw the gun. That was why she fired one bullet into Ty's back, between his shoulders. That was why when she watched him fall she felt something deep within her before it went quiet.

Then she was gone.

((Kimiko Kao continued elsewhere...))

[Emprexx Plush]

He'd turned his back to a killer. Thought didn't really set in until he heard her starting to go. Heard her hesitate. Maybe pondered for a moment how many ways this might be a bad idea. But his eyes were fixed on the plaque. Every slow step drew him closer to it. There wasn't a detail that escaped his eyes in that pause.

Kimiko was right behind him. She had a gun. She had more kills to her name than he could recall. And she hadn't said nothing the whole time they spoke that would lead him to believe she wouldn't put one in him. He should rush her. Take a tumble. At least make her look him in the eye when she did it. Anything to make it cost just a little more on her end, even if it was inevitable.

But don't that picture look dusty?

A hand came up to wipe away the grime from the gold, but it never made it all the way. There was the crack of her gun. The sound of his body hitting the wall. The thud of it slumping to the floor.

Ty didn't say anything more. Didn't cry out. Not so much as a rasp. Just stared a head until the bullet split flesh and tore the breath from his lungs.

Never was much a man for words. No reason to start now.

B016-YAZZIE, TYLER: ELIMINATED