Dean’s sudden sickness - some kinda fever, or the flu, he didn’t know what and didn’t particularly care anymore - had lasted for absolutely the most inconvenient length of time. It had taken two and a half days for it to disappear; long enough that he wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the trip, but short enough that he was still left with plenty of time, all by himself in Chattanooga, feeling a-okay and bored out of his mind.
Well, ‘by himself’ wasn’t strictly true. There were a few other people who’d stayed behind as well, for various reasons. A couple of them he knew pretty much zilch about, but he was cool-to-friendly with the rest of them. He’d tried to get in contact with them to hang out, but for the most parts, his texts had gone unnoticed. That was fine. They were all probably busy, or out of the state, or ill like he was.
He’d tried to keep in touch with everyone on the trip, too. The football team, Siyanda, Dante, Lucas. He’d had some sporadic replies here and there, but nothing too major. Again, everyone was probably busy, having fun in Washington, enjoying the good weather and seeing the sights. He’d sent a bunch of texts - probably too many, if he was being entirely honest - to Siyanda in particular, and ze hadn’t responded to any of them. It stung a little, but he couldn’t be too annoyed. If ze were actually getting to unwind and de-stress on the trip, that was the most important thing to him.
But now the trickle of responses had dried up entirely. And they weren’t on the trip anymore. They were supposed to have arrived back home by now. He’d sent more texts. Texts to people who hadn’t gone on the trip to see if they’d heard anything. Texts to anyone, posts on his Facebook and his Twitter. He’d started making unanswered calls.
Then he’d started getting replies back. Replies from the people who hadn’t taken the buses to Washington, and who were telling him that those buses had disappeared.
Dean’s phone lay on his bed as he paced around his room, door shut tight, face growing paler every second.
Spirit Phone
Washington Trip Return Date - Paging Zee
Spirit Phone
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
The phone's screen lit up, and it began to buzz insistently on the bed.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
Almost before his phone could finish vibrating once, it was in Dean's hand. He'd moved faster than he thought was actually possible over to the bed, and he glanced briefly at the screen, just to check who it was, before pressing it to the side of his head, heart racing.
"Siyanda?"
His voice came out louder than he expected, but once he'd started, he could barely stop.
"Siyanda, oh my fucking god, that's you, right?"
He had to hear zem, had to hear zir voice. Had to make sure it was zem and not zir parents, telling him the news that he and every other friend and family member and loved one was terrified of hearing.
"Siyanda?"
His voice came out louder than he expected, but once he'd started, he could barely stop.
"Siyanda, oh my fucking god, that's you, right?"
He had to hear zem, had to hear zir voice. Had to make sure it was zem and not zir parents, telling him the news that he and every other friend and family member and loved one was terrified of hearing.
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
((Siyanda Nagi continued from Zombies Never Die (Reprise)))
"D... Dean?"
Siyanda's stammering greeting was drowned out by the barrage of words pouring from Dean almost as soon as the call picked up.
"It's me, yeah."
Ze was sitting in zir room, back pressed against the locked door, knees drawn up to zir chest. Nobody had come chasing after zem yet. Hopefully it got through to zir frantic family that ze didn't want to be chased.
"It's me, I-"
He'd already heard. That much was obvious from his voice. The buses were gone, everyone on them was gone, nowhere to be found, and everyone who heard had to know what it meant. These things didn't just happen with no explanation.
And they were both supposed to have been there.
Stupid. Stupid, selfish- ze should have left the phone on. Should have told him where ze was. Now ze had to own up to it like this.
"D... Dean?"
Siyanda's stammering greeting was drowned out by the barrage of words pouring from Dean almost as soon as the call picked up.
"It's me, yeah."
Ze was sitting in zir room, back pressed against the locked door, knees drawn up to zir chest. Nobody had come chasing after zem yet. Hopefully it got through to zir frantic family that ze didn't want to be chased.
"It's me, I-"
He'd already heard. That much was obvious from his voice. The buses were gone, everyone on them was gone, nowhere to be found, and everyone who heard had to know what it meant. These things didn't just happen with no explanation.
And they were both supposed to have been there.
Stupid. Stupid, selfish- ze should have left the phone on. Should have told him where ze was. Now ze had to own up to it like this.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
It was zem.
It was zem, and they were still alive, and ze were talking to him right now, and he should have been relieved, and he was relieved, overwhelmingly, unbelievably relieved, but even that was just a pinprick compared to the fear and confusion boiling away inside of him.
"Oh my god..."
He wanted to say how happy he was that ze were alright, how glad he was that he could hear zir voice again, words he'd been planning on saying to zem in a different light, that he'd been thinking about yesterday as he fell asleep, words that were swallowed up by the knowledge that there was something more to all this, something they both knew was wrong.
"I've been calling and messaging you nonstop, and, and you weren't replying to any of it, so I tried getting hold of your parents but I couldn't find their number, so, I... fuck... I just started calling anybody, Si! Forrest, Mikki, Dante, all of the Lucases, I called Wyatt, I still had Wyatt fucking Carter's number in my phone, and nobody replied, and..."
Ze sounded just as scared and confused as he did. And he knew, that if the truth they were both terrified of had happened, that ze shouldn't be talking to him right now.
"The buses aren't there Siyanda, they never arrived, I... I don't..."
And he knew that if the coin had landed on the other side, he wouldn't be talking right now either.
"How are you here?"
It was zem, and they were still alive, and ze were talking to him right now, and he should have been relieved, and he was relieved, overwhelmingly, unbelievably relieved, but even that was just a pinprick compared to the fear and confusion boiling away inside of him.
"Oh my god..."
He wanted to say how happy he was that ze were alright, how glad he was that he could hear zir voice again, words he'd been planning on saying to zem in a different light, that he'd been thinking about yesterday as he fell asleep, words that were swallowed up by the knowledge that there was something more to all this, something they both knew was wrong.
"I've been calling and messaging you nonstop, and, and you weren't replying to any of it, so I tried getting hold of your parents but I couldn't find their number, so, I... fuck... I just started calling anybody, Si! Forrest, Mikki, Dante, all of the Lucases, I called Wyatt, I still had Wyatt fucking Carter's number in my phone, and nobody replied, and..."
Ze sounded just as scared and confused as he did. And he knew, that if the truth they were both terrified of had happened, that ze shouldn't be talking to him right now.
"The buses aren't there Siyanda, they never arrived, I... I don't..."
And he knew that if the coin had landed on the other side, he wouldn't be talking right now either.
"How are you here?"
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
"I know, I'm sorry, I didn't have my phone on-"
Siyanda paused to press the zir free hand against zir mouth in a fist. Slow down. Breathe. Ze bit zir knuckle hard enough to hurt and leave an impression, then slowly let zir hand drop again.
"I. I didn't go on the trip, okay, I was being stupid and I freaked out, and I kind of. Ran away for like a week? I had my phone off the whole time because I didn't want anyone to find me."
Siyanda let zir head fall back against the door with a faint thunk. And because of that little episode of melodrama and freak chance, they were both here talking. Scared and upset, but alive. Safe.
Ze hadn't looked through zir phone to see who else had been messaging and calling. Who else was still here by accident? How many Lucases were there, and why did Dean have all of their phone numbers?
"I'm sorry." Zir voice came out very small.
Siyanda paused to press the zir free hand against zir mouth in a fist. Slow down. Breathe. Ze bit zir knuckle hard enough to hurt and leave an impression, then slowly let zir hand drop again.
"I. I didn't go on the trip, okay, I was being stupid and I freaked out, and I kind of. Ran away for like a week? I had my phone off the whole time because I didn't want anyone to find me."
Siyanda let zir head fall back against the door with a faint thunk. And because of that little episode of melodrama and freak chance, they were both here talking. Scared and upset, but alive. Safe.
Ze hadn't looked through zir phone to see who else had been messaging and calling. Who else was still here by accident? How many Lucases were there, and why did Dean have all of their phone numbers?
"I'm sorry." Zir voice came out very small.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
"I..."
So that was it. The reason ze hadn't been replying to him went hand in hand with the reason ze were talking to him now. An instinctive snap decision, taking zemself off the grid for a week. God. God, he wanted to be so mad at zem, angry and hurt that he and everyone else who cared about zem had been petrified about what had happened to zem, when ze'd been safe and sound all this time.
"I'd..."
But how could he, when ze were alive because of it, and ze'd done something that ze had no idea would cause this much panic and worry, something that would have caused a couple moments confusion and explanation in the real world or might not even have ever come up? And how could he possibly be angry when ze were feeling the exact same way he was?
"It's okay," Dean said, voice equally small. The words didn't seem right, but nothing that came out of his mouth felt correct or real anymore. "It's okay, you're okay, you're..."
He was breathing in deeply through his nose, free hand grabbing tightly to his opposite arm.
"Everyone else is... they're..."
They both knew. They both fucking knew what had happened, there was only one thing it could be when this happened, over and over again, but he couldn't push himself to say it. Not directly.
"They're all gone, aren't they?"
He blinked. Something splashed onto the carpet in front of him.
So that was it. The reason ze hadn't been replying to him went hand in hand with the reason ze were talking to him now. An instinctive snap decision, taking zemself off the grid for a week. God. God, he wanted to be so mad at zem, angry and hurt that he and everyone else who cared about zem had been petrified about what had happened to zem, when ze'd been safe and sound all this time.
"I'd..."
But how could he, when ze were alive because of it, and ze'd done something that ze had no idea would cause this much panic and worry, something that would have caused a couple moments confusion and explanation in the real world or might not even have ever come up? And how could he possibly be angry when ze were feeling the exact same way he was?
"It's okay," Dean said, voice equally small. The words didn't seem right, but nothing that came out of his mouth felt correct or real anymore. "It's okay, you're okay, you're..."
He was breathing in deeply through his nose, free hand grabbing tightly to his opposite arm.
"Everyone else is... they're..."
They both knew. They both fucking knew what had happened, there was only one thing it could be when this happened, over and over again, but he couldn't push himself to say it. Not directly.
"They're all gone, aren't they?"
He blinked. Something splashed onto the carpet in front of him.
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
"I."
What kind of question was that, and why was he asking Siyanda like ze had all the answers? Ze knew jack diddly. They both had equally as much of a clue.
"Yeah, probably?" Zir voice didn't quite crack. "It's not like this is just, like- somebody would have called, or something, you know, and I just came in and my mom was crying, I don't- I don't know. They're probably gone."
Dr. Terrance had been chaperoning the trip. Siyanda had seen a little flash of humanity in him, something relatable and real, just a little over a week ago, and now ze wasn't ever going to see him again, and it wasn't even like ze liked him that much but still.
"Do you think we're still going to have finals?"
Dean was breathing real hard, like he was about to either cry or start yelling, and Siyanda had already been cried on today.
What kind of question was that, and why was he asking Siyanda like ze had all the answers? Ze knew jack diddly. They both had equally as much of a clue.
"Yeah, probably?" Zir voice didn't quite crack. "It's not like this is just, like- somebody would have called, or something, you know, and I just came in and my mom was crying, I don't- I don't know. They're probably gone."
Dr. Terrance had been chaperoning the trip. Siyanda had seen a little flash of humanity in him, something relatable and real, just a little over a week ago, and now ze wasn't ever going to see him again, and it wasn't even like ze liked him that much but still.
"Do you think we're still going to have finals?"
Dean was breathing real hard, like he was about to either cry or start yelling, and Siyanda had already been cried on today.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
"I-whuh-"
It was Dean's turn to be baffled, staring incredulously into space and wondering just what the hell he was supposed to say in response to Siyanda's question. Of course they weren't gonna have finals, how could they possibly do anything normal again now? Not unless the buses suddenly turned up after having taken a horrible wrong turn, everybody's phones having died simultaneously.
Could happen. Wasn't going to.
"I don't know."
He'd slumped into a heap against the wall at some point. He hadn't even noticed.
"I don't fucking know."
He couldn't tell whether his body was on the brink of screaming and crying down the phone, telling Siyanda how scared he'd been, how much he'd thought about zem and whether they were okay, about how this was the worst possible way he could have discovered that ze were fine, or whether it was on the verge of shutting down and turning him into a hollow husk of himself.
"Fuck."
It was Dean's turn to be baffled, staring incredulously into space and wondering just what the hell he was supposed to say in response to Siyanda's question. Of course they weren't gonna have finals, how could they possibly do anything normal again now? Not unless the buses suddenly turned up after having taken a horrible wrong turn, everybody's phones having died simultaneously.
Could happen. Wasn't going to.
"I don't know."
He'd slumped into a heap against the wall at some point. He hadn't even noticed.
"I don't fucking know."
He couldn't tell whether his body was on the brink of screaming and crying down the phone, telling Siyanda how scared he'd been, how much he'd thought about zem and whether they were okay, about how this was the worst possible way he could have discovered that ze were fine, or whether it was on the verge of shutting down and turning him into a hollow husk of himself.
"Fuck."
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
Siyanda gripped zir sleeve with zir free hand, tugging on it for no particular reason other than to be doing something. It was a stupid question and ze had known that before ze even asked. Ze still couldn't shake it.
Barring something incredible happening, Siyanda was pretty much the uncontested graduating valedictorian now. There was a thought. Can't give scholarships to somebody who- disappeared.
"I'm sorry," ze mumbled again. "Sorry. My brain's not working right now, okay, I didn't mean to be, you know. Breathe, okay? Just."
Ze paused to take zir own advice.
"Have you..." Heard from anyone else? Heard about who's never coming back?
They both knew.
"Do you want to come over later?" Ze asked instead. "I don't think my family's going to let me out of the house but you could, you know, come have dinner or something, or your parents could come too, I dunno. It might be good to not be alone?" Siyanda didn't want to face zir family alone, didn't want to have to keep answering the same questions and avoiding their eyes and thinking about how close they had both been to not being here.
Barring something incredible happening, Siyanda was pretty much the uncontested graduating valedictorian now. There was a thought. Can't give scholarships to somebody who- disappeared.
"I'm sorry," ze mumbled again. "Sorry. My brain's not working right now, okay, I didn't mean to be, you know. Breathe, okay? Just."
Ze paused to take zir own advice.
"Have you..." Heard from anyone else? Heard about who's never coming back?
They both knew.
"Do you want to come over later?" Ze asked instead. "I don't think my family's going to let me out of the house but you could, you know, come have dinner or something, or your parents could come too, I dunno. It might be good to not be alone?" Siyanda didn't want to face zir family alone, didn't want to have to keep answering the same questions and avoiding their eyes and thinking about how close they had both been to not being here.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
"No, no, it's okay, you're... I'm sorry."
Dean covered his mouth with his hand for a moment, then pressed it into his eyes. He tried to breathe, tried to force his body to act like everything hadn't gone to shit in the blink of an eye.
"I'm sorry."
There. There, he was breathing again, breathing like normal. He could do that, just for as long as he was talking with Siyanda. Just to stop them both from spiralling off of each other.
"I'm not doing too great either."
He tried to laugh, but it wouldn't come out, and it felt like it'd turn into a sob if he tried any harder, so he bit his tongue and kept quiet, grabbing tightly to his arm again. Sure, he wasn't doing great. He couldn't begin to imagine how everyone else was doing. He didn't know whether he should be feeling horrified or relieved, or guilty for even thinking of feeling relieved, that he and Siyanda were both alive, both able to break down and mess up and fumble their way through a phone call.
"Yeah, that... I think that'd be good. Coming over for dinner, or, like, something."
He had no idea whether it'd be good or not, but he wanted to see Siyanda again, needed to make sure that ze were okay. Maybe this would be easier in person. Maybe silence would be bearable together. He just needed to make sure ze were fine.
"I'll let my parents know, they... they both already heard about it..."
He hadn't met Siyanda's parents yet, had he? Not even at prom. Prom, which felt like a million years ago now. Prom, which was so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and which now felt simultaneously like the most and least important thing in the universe.
Dean covered his mouth with his hand for a moment, then pressed it into his eyes. He tried to breathe, tried to force his body to act like everything hadn't gone to shit in the blink of an eye.
"I'm sorry."
There. There, he was breathing again, breathing like normal. He could do that, just for as long as he was talking with Siyanda. Just to stop them both from spiralling off of each other.
"I'm not doing too great either."
He tried to laugh, but it wouldn't come out, and it felt like it'd turn into a sob if he tried any harder, so he bit his tongue and kept quiet, grabbing tightly to his arm again. Sure, he wasn't doing great. He couldn't begin to imagine how everyone else was doing. He didn't know whether he should be feeling horrified or relieved, or guilty for even thinking of feeling relieved, that he and Siyanda were both alive, both able to break down and mess up and fumble their way through a phone call.
"Yeah, that... I think that'd be good. Coming over for dinner, or, like, something."
He had no idea whether it'd be good or not, but he wanted to see Siyanda again, needed to make sure that ze were okay. Maybe this would be easier in person. Maybe silence would be bearable together. He just needed to make sure ze were fine.
"I'll let my parents know, they... they both already heard about it..."
He hadn't met Siyanda's parents yet, had he? Not even at prom. Prom, which felt like a million years ago now. Prom, which was so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and which now felt simultaneously like the most and least important thing in the universe.
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
"Yeah," Siyanda said, a vague blanket agreement to all the sentiment Dean expressed. Same boat.
There was a knock at the door, somewhere above zir head. "Siyanda?" Faiza called. Her voice was still shaky, but it sounded like she wasn't crying anymore.
"I'm on the phone," ze called back, like ze was offhandedly brushing her off like it was any other time. Like she couldn't probably tell that ze was still huddled right on the other side of the door.
To Dean, ze said. "I'll text you, okay? Or you text me, just... let me know whatever you decide on doing." Who else is alive, because god knew Siyanda hadn't been keeping track of who was where. Ze hadn't cared all that much outside of a select few.
When ze picked through the shock and the crushing horror of just knowing that a catastrophe had happened, it was hard to tell if ze really did care, still. It wasn't like ze had ever wanted any of zir classmates dead, but if it had happened to someone who wasn't a close friend, would ze have shown up to a funeral? Probably not.
Should it hurt more? Should ze be mourning, instead of just shell-shocked? The not-caring was why ze was here and not elsewhere, vanished into a ripple in reality and never to surface again except in video reel on the dark web.
"Just don't ghost me, okay?" Siyanda half-pleaded.
There was a knock at the door, somewhere above zir head. "Siyanda?" Faiza called. Her voice was still shaky, but it sounded like she wasn't crying anymore.
"I'm on the phone," ze called back, like ze was offhandedly brushing her off like it was any other time. Like she couldn't probably tell that ze was still huddled right on the other side of the door.
To Dean, ze said. "I'll text you, okay? Or you text me, just... let me know whatever you decide on doing." Who else is alive, because god knew Siyanda hadn't been keeping track of who was where. Ze hadn't cared all that much outside of a select few.
When ze picked through the shock and the crushing horror of just knowing that a catastrophe had happened, it was hard to tell if ze really did care, still. It wasn't like ze had ever wanted any of zir classmates dead, but if it had happened to someone who wasn't a close friend, would ze have shown up to a funeral? Probably not.
Should it hurt more? Should ze be mourning, instead of just shell-shocked? The not-caring was why ze was here and not elsewhere, vanished into a ripple in reality and never to surface again except in video reel on the dark web.
"Just don't ghost me, okay?" Siyanda half-pleaded.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
He heard the telltale sound of knocking on wood through the phone, and waited patiently for Siyanda to finish talking with zir sister. He was starting to feel the wall behind him press against his back, and the soft warmth of the carpet on his legs once more. He guessed this was a small blessing, that he had no siblings of his own. No brother, for instance, who would have been worried sick if Dean had vanished suddenly.
And, if everything had happened just a little earlier or a little later, no sister for him to desperately text over and over and over with no reply.
"Yeah. I'll... I'll text you when I'm about to head out. And if my parents are coming with."
It was still so tempting to just fling the phone down, knock some stuff over, lock himself in the shower for hours before collapsing into bed and falling asleep with the lights and his clothes on. It wouldn't be productive. It wouldn't do anything to help. It would hurt him, he knew it, but he just wanted to wear himself out, yell until he had no energy left, and physically stop himself from thinking anymore.
"I'll be there."
But he wasn't the only one hurting. And he couldn't make zem hurt even more.
"I promise.
And, if everything had happened just a little earlier or a little later, no sister for him to desperately text over and over and over with no reply.
"Yeah. I'll... I'll text you when I'm about to head out. And if my parents are coming with."
It was still so tempting to just fling the phone down, knock some stuff over, lock himself in the shower for hours before collapsing into bed and falling asleep with the lights and his clothes on. It wouldn't be productive. It wouldn't do anything to help. It would hurt him, he knew it, but he just wanted to wear himself out, yell until he had no energy left, and physically stop himself from thinking anymore.
"I'll be there."
But he wasn't the only one hurting. And he couldn't make zem hurt even more.
"I promise.
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017
"Okay. Thanks."
Faiza's knock came again, more insistent. Siyanda rubbed a hand over zir face and sighed when it came away smeared with makeup.
"Um, I have to go for now. My family's uh. You know."
Ze slowly got to zir feet, limbs feeling heavy and stiff despite the fact that ze hadn't been sitting that long.
"I'll let them know you're coming over."
Going through the motions of a normal conversation now that the shock and horror was out of the way. Right back to business as usual. They probably weren't going to have finals, and without that to prepare for, Siyanda wasn't entirely sure what ze would do with zirself in order to avoid spending time with zir parents hovering around.
Faiza's knock came again, more insistent. Siyanda rubbed a hand over zir face and sighed when it came away smeared with makeup.
"Um, I have to go for now. My family's uh. You know."
Ze slowly got to zir feet, limbs feeling heavy and stiff despite the fact that ze hadn't been sitting that long.
"I'll let them know you're coming over."
Going through the motions of a normal conversation now that the shock and horror was out of the way. Right back to business as usual. They probably weren't going to have finals, and without that to prepare for, Siyanda wasn't entirely sure what ze would do with zirself in order to avoid spending time with zir parents hovering around.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
“Yeah. Yeah, I gotcha. It’s okay. I should probably… probably go and talk with my folks, too.”
Should probably do a lot of things, really. Should probably shower, at least wash his hair before heading round to the Nagi family home. He remembered, as feeling and realisation slowly returned to him, that he’d been part way through getting dressed when he’d gotten the news about the buses, and that he was just slumped against the wall in a tank top and boxer shorts. Should probably, at the very very least, finish getting changed.
“I’ll… see you later, then. I…”
I what? ‘I’m glad you’re safe’? That was the most logical thing to say, but he’d already said it, and he knew it’d just sound hollow given that he was clearly not glad about fucking anything. ‘I think everything’s gonna be okay’? No way for him to know that at best, insensitive at worst, and a complete lie at the bare minimum. Something else? The only ‘something’ there’d been on his mind before today had been wondering about prom, wondering about the two of them, and that was enough of a stumper that he’d need a full day to sort it all out with zem.
Maybe that’d all get sorted out later this evening, maybe it wouldn’t, maybe they’d both just end up in tears together. Who knew? Not him. Not anybody. He gently tipped his head back against the wall again.
“Yeah. See you later, Si.”
Should probably do a lot of things, really. Should probably shower, at least wash his hair before heading round to the Nagi family home. He remembered, as feeling and realisation slowly returned to him, that he’d been part way through getting dressed when he’d gotten the news about the buses, and that he was just slumped against the wall in a tank top and boxer shorts. Should probably, at the very very least, finish getting changed.
“I’ll… see you later, then. I…”
I what? ‘I’m glad you’re safe’? That was the most logical thing to say, but he’d already said it, and he knew it’d just sound hollow given that he was clearly not glad about fucking anything. ‘I think everything’s gonna be okay’? No way for him to know that at best, insensitive at worst, and a complete lie at the bare minimum. Something else? The only ‘something’ there’d been on his mind before today had been wondering about prom, wondering about the two of them, and that was enough of a stumper that he’d need a full day to sort it all out with zem.
Maybe that’d all get sorted out later this evening, maybe it wouldn’t, maybe they’d both just end up in tears together. Who knew? Not him. Not anybody. He gently tipped his head back against the wall again.
“Yeah. See you later, Si.”
"bryony and alba would definitely join the terrorists quote me on this put this quote in signatures put it in history books" - Cicada Days, 2017