I Forgot My House was Also Gray

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

It was a quiet walk home that Sunday for Caroline Bell.

It often was, but this felt different for a multitude of reasons. For one, Camilla's presence was replaced by that of a much older, and much bitterer man, who had her face. Caroline could tell it pained her niece, Maria, to look at Jason's face, also for an array of reasons. They walked side by side, with Caroline acting as the barrier between the former couple. She was sure the priest had said something about the missing class of children, but she didn't hear it. She didn't want to, because she didn't need a reminder that the young woman who was effectively her granddaughter was gone. Really, she didn't want to go to church at all today. However, it brought some comfort to Maria, so she went. And Jason went with them, because (in his own words-)

"What else am I gonna do around here?" He sighed. "Guess I'll be going back to the motel now."

"What motel?" Caroline piped up.

"The only one I could get. Gonna stay for three days, then go back to Nashville." he elaborated.

Caroline shook her head. "Goodness. That's not enough time." Jason turned to face her, with a raised eyebrow. So she continued. "Look, why don't you stay with us for a short time?"

"Us?" Maria's voice took on a scandalized tone, and she stopped in her tracks. Caroline was all too happy to stop to turn to her as well. She cleared her throat and spoke again.

"Or rather, me. I have a guest room, you can stay for as long as you need."

Jason had also stopped by now, though he was ahead of the two women. He looked back, a thoughtful look crossed his eyes, and then he nodded. "Probably won't stay long though. But thanks anyway."

Then they continued walking. Though Caroline still had misgivings, none of them were grievous enough to get in the way of common courtesy in times like these. As much as Maria would raise a fuss about the terminology, Camilla was his child too, and it was only fair to give him a proper place to grieve.

---

Even so, Caroline wished her guest room was more conductive to her own grieving process. If that was the right way to put it.

It was a simple room, but she hoped it came across as cozy. The walls were painted soft blue, in the corner there was a twin bed, its sheets covered in a pattern of little roses, with pillows to match, and beside it was a small white nightstand, complete with a white-and-blue striped lamp on it.

Over the years, the guest room's most common guest had been Camilla. From the very start of her life, really. There were nights when neither parent could come pick their daughter up in time, and their little five-year-old just fell asleep in the bed that was available to her. Those days, they were out working due to unexpected hangups, or something innocent like that. Later on, the innocent hangups at work became vicious court battles.

Caroline pulled the drawer of the night-stand open, and the cover of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn surprised her. She wasn't quite sure if it was the book she caught Camilla reading late that one night, but she supposed which book it was didn't matter. As long as she wasn't burying her face into the pillow and crying, Caroline had succeeded in her mission.

She then looked over the sheets of the bed, at current, and wondered if they would be appropriate for her next guest, a grown man. As she pondered that, she sat down on the bed, staring at the blue wall, as if staring into the sky.

The last guest this room held was its most frequent visitor, once again. Despite it being months ago, the memory was still fresh in her mind, quite possibly to how unexpected it was- though she probably shouldn't have been that surprised in hindsight, when she heard of the "social gathering" at a classmate's house in the gated community. But yes, that night, some Julien fellow dropped Camilla off at Caroline's house, after she had a too much alcohol (and by the smell of it, a bit of something else too). Questionable decisions, yes, but Caroline would be lying if she said she denied making many more unwise decisions at her age.

Caroline got back up and remade the sheets so that it would be just so. If a grown man took a few roses on his sheets as an assault to his manhood, then he didn't deserve the title of 'grown man'.

At that moment, the phone rang in the other room.

"Coming!" Caroline shouted, even though no one was around to hear it, as she hurried out of the guest room.

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

"You want me to come over to help you go through Camilla's things?"

There was a silence that was just long enough to be noticeable before Maria's curt reply. "Yes."

"What for?" Caroline questioned.

She could almost see Maria rolling her eyes on the other side of the phone. It seemed like something she would do. "To sort them out. Clean them up."

"This..." Caroline stopped to take a deep breath in. "This feels an awful lot like you're preparing for a funeral, doesn't it?"

There was another silence, this one longer than the last.

"Of course? Why wouldn't I?"

Caroline sighed. "Look, we have time to... to do that. Why don't you come over for some tea, first?"

---

On second thought, Caroline should have mentioned Jason would be arriving at that time. But the kettle was already on, and she hated to waste perfectly good tea. Despite how dreary the air that hung around the "family" had become, the day was still an objectively beautiful day- and so, Caroline decided to serve tea on the porch. Well, around the porch, more like.

Jason was sitting in a small armchair by the door that lead out to the garden when she handed him his teacup. He smiled, said a polite thank you, and looked back out. Caroline looked back out to, and if she could toot her own horn, she had to say it was quite a sight, her garden.

After a trip back to the kitchen, she brought two cups of steaming tea out the door to a small tea-table on the porch, where Maria was now sitting. She nodded in acknowledgement before taking the cup that Caroline handed to her. At last, she could sit down and just relax, even if was just for a little while.

The reality of the situation hadn't sunken in yet, had it?

It had already been a month, but no official confirmation had come. Yet, everyone knew. The name was constantly on the tip of her tongue and in the engine of her train of thought. Survival of the fittest, they called it. The words seemed to hang in the air like droplets of steam, always felt, but only sometimes seen. Or heard, she should say.

She caught Maria gazing at the flytrap on the windowsill next to her, on the other side of the window pane. It reminded her of something.

"Oh, do you mind perhaps moving some of Camilla's plants over to my garden?" she asked Maria.

Maria nodded, somewhat absentmindedly, still looking to the flytrap. She could hear Jason grumble from the door.

"That girl has more of a connection to her flytrap than her mother."

"Excuse me?" The comment snapped Maria back to reality, as she turned a sharp glare onto Jason.

"Fucking... you know what Camilla said about you in our calls?" Jason continued.

"You were always trying to turn her against me in those calls. I knew it." Maria icily replied.

Jason snorted. "You guys were practically living in separate houses by the time she left for the trip."

The mention of the trip caused a small tear in Caroline's heart. It was all going so well, wasn't it? She even got a video call from Camilla during. It still hadn't sunk in that the call was-

"I raised an independent young lady."

Maria paused, and took a sip of her tea, never taking her narrowed eyes off of Jason. Once she lowered the cup, she continued. "You would have just coddled her."

"Raising an independent child? That what they're calling neglect now?" Jason retorted.

Maria set her cup down on the table and stood up. "Do you have a problem with independent girls? Because it fucking feels like you have a problem."

"Oh, so we're playing the gender card now?" Jason also stood up.

"You tried to stop me from working!" Maria exclaimed, walking away from the tea table and towards the doorway.

"You two!" Caroline scolded. The two of them paused. She examined them both with a scolding stare, and gave them an ultimatum. "Finish your tea in peace, or leave."

Maria paused. Jason turned away from her and picked up his teacup. At his pointed refusal to further acknowledge her, Maria went back to the tea table and sat down. Caroline could see her fingers twitch as they gripped the handle of the teacup, and the twitching eventually gave way to tapping.

Tapping fingers on teacups. Sipping tea. The gentle rustle of the breeze through the leaves. At some point, Maria got up to leave.

Just as she was through the door, with Caroline there to send her off, Maria asked her again-

"Are you coming tomorrow?"

"For sorting Camilla's things?" Caroline's lips curled into a frown.

"You're what through her things?"

She turned around, and Jason was standing where the entryway met the living room.

"Sorting her things. Cleaning them up." Maria turned, seemingly ready to leave. "Giving them a proper send off."

"What is this, a funeral?" Caroline could almost hear a sneer in Jason's voice.

Maria just nodded. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"We don't know if she's dead, idiot."
"Survival of the fittest, dipshit. Basically everyone dies."
"What if she wins?"

The room seemed to go cold, at least to Caroline. A look of disgust twisted Maria's face.

"If she 'wins'?" The airquotes Maria used seemed pointed, almost cartoonish. "She'd have to fucking murder someone to 'win'!"

"Look, neither you nor I raised a quitter," came Jason's reply. "We didn't raise a pushover, someone who gives up when the going gets tough."

"First of all- we?!" Maria scoffed. "I raised her, you did jack shit. Second, oh NOW you're fine with independant-"

Jason interrupted "This was never about your fucking gender politics!"

Maria raised her voice considerably. "It was when I wanted to work full time!"

"That was NEVER about-"

"QUIET!"

Both Maria and Jason froze. Caroline took in a deep breath. Let it out. Another. Let it out. It was the loudest she'd shouted in a long time.

She turned to Maria. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

And then she closed the door.

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

The air in Maria Bell's house was stagnant. Were this a novel, it could have been foreshadowing something terrible that was going to happen. It seemed the novels had gotten their cause and effect a bit mixed up.

When Caroline entered, she could see through the doorless kitchen entry, right to the sink. Unusually, it was full of unwashed dishes. Indeed, none of the meticulousness Caroline had come to know Maria for was present at that moment. It wasn't in the house, and it definitely wasn't with Maria. When she answered the door, her hair seemed disheveled, as though she had only just willed herself out of bed, with her clothes similarly ragged, with stains from various cooking sauces on them. Even her smile lacked elegance, though it was still recognizably The Best Medicine.

"Auntie? Come on in. Take whatever."

---

"Oh. It's Mister Tentacles."

Within the tiny closet, a rather large purple octopus plushie was stuffed into the corner, below several hangers (only about half containing clothes of any sort).

Maria paused her folding of clothes on the bed, and looked over Caroline's shoulder.

"She used to fall asleep on that. Used to read really late into the night," she reminisced, bemusement in her voice.

Caroline chuckled. "Well, I've gone well past the age I'd need plushies. But perhaps it could add some... flavour, to my guest room."

With that, she reached in and took the head of the octopus with both hands. It took some extra tugging to get the tentacles out with the head, but even as a plushie not much could stop an octopus from getting through a gap. Caroline held the head up so that she could look the octopus in the eye, its arms dangling down.

"Where'd her other plushies go?"

"Aside from Roosevelt?" Maria answered, "Donated to charity, mostly."

"I imagine this one was hard to fit in the donation box," said Caroline dryly, lowering Mr. Tentacles from her face. Maria laughed lightly, the first Caroline had heard in a while.

"Yeah, I imagine that was part of it!" she said, the smile on her face now brighter. With that smile, she returned to her original task of folding clothes.

Caroline looked over at the bed. There was a loose pile of clothes in front of Maria, and a neat folded pile beside her. There was also something by the loose pile- she stepped a bit closer to see.

It was a small shoebox. Quizzically, Caroline set Mr. Tentacles by the bed, and picked the box up. There likely weren't shoes in here, she learned that much by staying around Maria's house. With a quick glance to Maria, and a nod from her, Caroline lifted the lid and took a peek. Inside were circles of cloth cut, and with embroidered designs on them. With a finger, Caroline flicked through those designs at the pace of a contemplative walk on the beach. Among those designs were a teapot (very round and jolly-looking), a bird with clipped wings, and a flower with a stem that zipped from side to side. The needlework was done by rough and unsteady hands, perhaps, but they were unique creations all the same, that still had a beauty to them.

"I... I think I'll hang these up in the house," Caroline stated. Maria simply nodded.

"Like I said, take whatever."

Caroline paused, the shoebox still in one hand. Her eyes lazily went over to Mr. Tentacles, still sitting by the bed.

"Maria... we haven't gotten confirmation yet," she began. "On whether or not Camilla is dead."

Maria stopped. She pulled her hands away from the clothes she was folding, and looked up at Caroline.

"What do you mean, no confirmation?" Maria questioned. "If they were rescued, she'd be here by now, wouldn't she?"

Caroline opened her mouth, but closed it and fell silent.

"And if she wasn't rescued, she's dead! Ohh, Jason likes to say 'oohhh, I didn't raise a quitter!' Well yeah, I didn't raise a fucking murderer!" Maria ranted. "Winning? What the fuck? They all know what winning means, they'd have to fucking kill someone!"

"Maria-" Caroline started-

"I didn't raise my girl to be so selfish she'd willingly take someone's life just so she could get back home and nobody else could!"

"But what if she-"

"If she WHAT?" Maria shouted.

The house fell silent for what felt like eternity.

Maria broke that eternity, with a quiet declaration. "If she turns out to be that selfish, she's dead to me."

Caroline's gaze turned away from Maria, down at the box full of embroidery in her hand.

"I think I've gotten what I'd like to take," she said. "If you need help with- with this, just call me."

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

How long ago was the last time this housed a true family?

It wasn't before Jason left. It wasn't right before Camilla's abduction either. Indeed, Camilla seemed more like a roommate than a daughter at the times she had seen the two interacting in recent. It was a line too nebulous to draw, she supposed.

Those were the thoughts running through her head as Caroline steadily headed away from Maria's house, for the third time, this time carrying a stack of books and a potted flytrap. She wondered about how it lacked the distinct feeling of a mother's empty nest- in a way, one would have never realized that Camilla was abducted, but rather guess that she moved out a long time ago.

When she reached her house and entered it, she first set the stack of things on a coffee table in the entryway, and lifted the flytrap off it. Once she placed it beside her own flytrap on the windowsill, she could see it was bushier than hers, but hers was a rather young plant, and Camilla's was beginning to show the stains of age on its lowermost leaves.

"That's the last of them, huh?" Caroline looked up, and to the doorway to the porch. There stood Jason.

Caroline nodded. "The last of the plants. They're all here now."

Jason sighed. "It's gonna be weird seeing Maria's porch and there being no plants on it."

"True, true..." Caroline sadly agreed.

"I imagine Maria's happier about it, though," Jason said, his voice having the undercurrent of a hiss.

Caroline shrugged. "I wouldn't say that. She's lived with those plants for years, and- and they were Camilla's, after all."

"It's not like she would have taken care of them once she left for Knoxville," Jason continued, walking out onto the porch and looking out blankly on the rest of the garden.

There was a pause. Caroline spoke up, saying "If she needed help with them I would have given it."

"I guess," Jason muttered.

"Oh, would you like some tea, Jason?" Caroline suddenly asked.

Jason shrugged. Caroline decided to make two cups of tea- it seemed Jason could need it.

Crossing the dining room to get to the kitchen brought her attention to a laptop, screen shut, on the table that she hadn't noticed before. It reminded her she had some calls to make later, and some lemon squares to make. It was a pitiful gift in response to tragedy, but that was the extent of her abilities at that moment. If only she could offer more.

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

"Return of Survival of the Fittest Confirmed by Video Feeds"

The blue light Maria's phone at that moment glared harsher than the sun streaming through the window of the cafe. Caroline leaned over when she caught sight of the headline, but the rest of the article seemed to be a blur. Perhaps she needed new reading glasses.

"I told you," Maria muttered. "If all the feeds are up, it means they're already dead."

Caroline opened her mouth, but decided it would be wiser to not say anything. Luckily, a notification popping onto the screen provided the perfect distraction.

"Tinder?" Caroline asked, innocently. Maria swiftly turned away from Caroline, taking the phone to the other side of the table and shielding the screen with her hand. Taken aback for a moment, Caroline left Maria to her online escapades, instead picking up the simple croissant from her plate.

---

At home, Caroline was greeted by a nod, from Jason sitting at the laptop on the dining table, dark circles under his eyes. She did recall he seemed to spend a lot of time on the laptop last night.

"Jason, are you getting enough sleep?" she voiced her concern.

"Yeah, yeah," Jason nodded as he spoke. "Just looking for a new job, that's all."

"A new job?" she pressed on.

"Mm-hm."

With that, he returned to the screen and said no more.

Caroline stared for a moment, then walked over to the window looking out on the garden. It was about time she did some pruning, wasn't it? She doubled back into a hallway, where embedded in the wall was the closet where she kept her gardening tools.

There was a surprise when she opened it- a book, a collection of bedtime stories it said. If she recalled correctly, that book was nearly as old as Camilla was. She wasn't sure how it ended up in her house- perhaps Camilla took it with her one day and forgot to bring it home for all these years.

Curiosity moved her to take the book and read it before she attended to pruning her garden. Flipping through its pages, she could see rather old-fashioned English tales, with watercolour illustrations of children and animals and fairies and brownies, and morals at the end. There were a series of stories- the first and last story of the book in that series- about a military drummer on the run, and there was the story of two brownie brothers who never seemed to agree. Her flipping paused at one tale.

She could recall reading that one to Camilla, one night- she didn't remember reading any of the others aloud, however. It was about a figure called Dame Poke Around, who never had anything nice to say about other people and was full of mean gossip. One day, when she was staying with her sister, a brownie came to the sister's door to ask for donations for a lady whose house burned down, a gray house with roses on the door. The Dame stopped her sister from donating, and said some rather nasty things about the (presumed) owner of the house, which drove the brownie to return the money he collected. Little did she know, when she returned home, she discovered that it was her own house that had burned down- her own house was also gray, with roses on the door.

Caroline couldn't tell why Camilla wanted her to read that story, and not any other one. She supposed children were a bit odd like that.

She blinked. How long had passed? How long had she simply been standing there? She put the book back on the dusty shelf, and took the pruning shears, then left to her gardening.

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

"Auntie, I'd like you to meet Travis."

As she stood in the doorway to Maria's house, Caroline observed a tall man with a beard wearing a flannel shirt next to Maria. He certainly looked like a Travis in her own opinion.

She reached her hand out to the new man.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Caroline, Maria's aunt."

He took Caroline's hand and shook it, a bit roughly.

"You too."

Caroline withdrew her hand. From then until she she sat down at the dinner table with Maria and her new boyfriend, she wished she could be a bit more genuinely happy for them. It wasn't that she wasn't at all, she just wondered if Maria learned anything at all from her experience with Jason- or rather, anything about herself.

Travis was a man of few words, and seemed to answer all of Maria's rambling questions with inversely proportional laconic answers. Caroline had to admit he had a way of being succinctly to the point yet thought-provoking at times all the same, which she admired. Maria did too, it seemed.

She finished her dinner before the others, and figured politely excusing herself, obstinately to rest, would be accepted for it left the couple alone. So she did- and so she went.

It seemed whatever Maria was discussing earlier became much more lively once Caroline was out of the dining room. Perhaps neither of them would notice her taking a quick look in Camilla's room, just to see. Just to reminisce.

In the drawers and on the shelves were nothing at all, even dust had been swept away meticulously. Even the sheets had been taken off the bed. In the closet was a box which clothes were neatly folded into- was there something under the topmost layer?

A notebook. Interesting. Caroline opened it up to the first page.

Both mom and auntie told me that maybe it would be better for me if I kept a diary, to give me a healthy outlet for my emotions or something like that. Mom probably got the idea from her therapist. I guess I'll try it, but I really hope neither of them find this.

Caroline couldn't help but feel a bit offended at that, a little guilty too. But what could possibly be in this diary that was so secret, Camilla wouldn't tell even her about it?

She read on.

May 10
In a few days it'll be mother's day. Tomorrow we'll be selling carnations for the occasion. I'll be sure to bring some back home, but I'm still deciding on who gets what. I've often heard that for people who don't have their moms in their life, it's a day to celebrate any maternal figure they have, like a female relative or a teacher. Maybe I can follow that rule too.

Oh, oh dear. This event. It was such an innocuous thing. Maria was quite pleased with the carnation she was given, and over the phone they had discussed the day and Maria talked about how touched she was by Camilla's gift, and how proud she was for her daughter finally branching out and becoming a bit more outgoing, thanks to Maria's efforts.

What Caroline didn't tell her was that Caroline had received three carnations. The message was clear, and begged to be kept discreet. To this day, it was.

She read on.

May 14
Wouldn't it be great if I just dropped everything and drove off to god knows where? Obviously I'm not going to do that because the world's a scary place, but the world includes Chattanooga. I know I'll get the chance to leave when I go to Knoxville, but that's for university, and maybe that'll be even more stifling. Maybe there won't be any big difference between my life there and my life here and now. I won't have any more freedom by moving, won't I?

The first sentence was something Caroline couldn't help but smile at. Who hadn't been there before? That smile faded as she read the rest of the entry.

She supposed she'd never find out.

May 18
I got asked to prom today. I even got a diamond necklace as a gift during. I don't really understand why. I think it was out of pity more than anything. I often get the feeling Julien feels bad for me but in a way that looks down on me, but maybe that's just the anxiety talking.

Ah, that fellow. Camilla did mention going to prom with a Julien, but Caroline never saw him after he dropped Camilla off at her home the night of that rambunctious party.

She turned the page.

May 24
It's hard to believe I'll be leaving Chattanooga behind in a couple months. I really wish I was happy to be leaving, but I guess it's always more complicated than that. There are people here I'll miss, more than just auntie. I'll miss the gardening club, and I guess I'll see if I'll miss Julien after prom tomorrow.

May 26
I guess I will. It's a little frustrating, actually. Back at the big party I said "I love you" to him, and I told Declyn, Drew, and Theo that too- told Diego a bit after that. I don't think any one of them understand what I mean or how serious I was. What I mean isn't romantic or something like that, but if I explained it people might think it was just friendship. It's not. I have friends, and I like those friends, but I don't love them the way I love, say, Declyn. And, I definitely don't love Declyn the way he loves whoever he's dating or sleeping with. To me, love is

She turned the page.

Scribbles. The next two pages were full of scribbles with the occasional non-scribbled-out word.

-and always being there.
It doesn't have to be-
-although I guess affection can be shown with-

There was one line- there was a strike through it, but it didn't seem that she had the heart to scribble it out completely.

It'd be nice to hold someone close and be held in return and be told that I matter and

More scribbles, yet the sections that could be read seemed to veer further and further off.

-but I don't feel that with mom or dad. Is that bad?
Is it selfish that I wish Declyn and Julien would just-

Caroline lingered on one section.

Everything was supposed to be easier. Everyone I know who's asexual and aromantic says that things are easier without the pressures of dating and such things, and I don't know where I went wrong.

If only Caroline could have been there at the moment those lines were written. There were so many things she could have said, wanted to say to Camilla right this instant. Her lip trembled a bit.

At the bottom of the second page of this, there was clarity.

I give up. I thought I understood, but I don't. I know what it feels like to me, but I guess I'll never be able to explain it to anyone else. Maybe someone loves me back in the way I want to be, but that's probably a pipe dream.

There were no more entries.

Caroline closed the notebook and placed it back under the folded clothes, just as she found it.

Did she regret reading that? It was hard to say- she would have to think about it. She quietly walked out of the room, turning off the lights, and made her way back to the dining room.

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

The venus flytrap named Gloria stood with a posture like a hunchbacked old man on the porch coffee table.

It was still full and proud compared to its cousin on the windowsill, but for how much longer? No more leaves would grow in, and its own leaves seemed to wither at a rate of once a week. Someday, the younger primadonna would overtake it in looks as its stem curled in on itself and the leaves frayed at the brown edges.

Back home, it had been someone's pride and joy. Now it was a centerpiece of mourning for a life ended too soon.

It was nice being someone's most cherished thing. It once stood tall and elegant on a similar table in the center of the indoor portion of a garden. For ten years, it had not moved much from that spot. It was like a spoiled child, even moreso than the other plants in the garden.

It had a good, long life. Perhaps it was spoiled here, too. A place to live out the rest of its days in peace- and lonesomeness.

Still, it had a good life. It was not afraid of whatever came next.

It was not afraid of anything. Its leaves brushed against the empty glass bottles, and over the tipped over glass which spilled something strong into a puddle at the foot of its pot. It stared worriedly over the woman whose head was on the table. Or was it judgmental?

Could it think all those things or was Caroline just desperate?

They stared at each other until Caroline's vision faded.

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

"...and so, I quit Twitter!"

Caroline nodded along as Maria ranted, standing in the doorway on a Sunday morning.

Maria continued. "They're out there telling lies about her, that she was a monster! I am not fucking dealing with dipshits on the internet tarnishing my daughter's-"

At that point she paused for a second and shot a glare at Jason, sitting by the dining table sipping coffee, before turning back to Caroline.

"-memory! They-"

"Maria, are you staying for coffee or not?" Caroline gently interjected.

Maria shook her head, and narrowed her eyes at Jason again. He copied her motion.

"...right," Caroline muttered.

Soon after, Maria finally said her goodbyes, and left. Caroline sighed, and walked back to the kitchen, grabbing the pot of coffee and pouring it into a waiting mug.

"Have you been getting anything like that, Jason?" she asked.

He looked up, his eyes a bit wider. "Hm?"

"Messages on um, social media and such. About Camilla."

Jason looked away from Caroline, his gaze blank. After a moment, he nodded.

"Have, uh. Have you?"

Caroline shook her head. She had a facebook, but rarely checked it. She paused, and then added- "Maybe on Facebook. But I haven't seen it, in any case."

Jason sighed, and took a long sip of coffee.

Caroline looked away from Jason, tapped her finger against the counter. The cream was ahead, at the edge of her sight, but her arm felt too heavy to lift, to grab it.

"...what do they say?" she quietly asked.

She heard Jason's breath catch for a moment, the clink of the coffee cup against the table. There was silence.

"You don't want to know," he hastily answered, raising the cup to his lips again.

"Yes, I do," Caroline firmly stated, taking the handle of her mug and a spoon with one hand, and the cream jar with the other. As she poured the cream into her coffee, she reminded him, "I raised Camilla just as much as the two of you did."

She opened her mouth again, only to close it.

In her mind, she added I raised her more than you two combined.

Instead, she simply stared at Jason, reaching the hand that held the cream jar back to place it on the counter. Her hand freed, she took the spoon and starting stirring the coffee, gently clinking the metal spoon against the mug's edges.

Jason furrowed his brow, then leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms. "If you insist."

"They're calling her a murderer."

The clinking stopped.

"They- they're making memes about it, Caroline. Jokes. And it's-"

Jason stopped his summary, and leaned forward, leaning his elbows on the table and burying his face in his hands.

"God it's-"

"The worst part is they're not lying, Caroline."

"How do you know?" Caroline almost immediately retorted, defensive.

Jason looked up, eyes wide again. "They don't lie about this, Caroline-"

"Well, Maria said they were spreading lies-"

"It's Maria," Jason's tone grew frustrated. "She always plays the fucking victim."

"Have you been watching the broadcast, Jason?"

The room fell silent, again, as Caroline stared Jason in the eye.

Jason sighed and raised his hands halfheartedly, in defeat.

"Fuck it. I have. But can you blame me? I want to know what happened to her."

Caroline stayed silent.

Jason lowered his hands, placed them on the table. His fingers curled into themselves. "Maria, she- don't tell her, okay? I get enough abuse from her. And she's all preachy about how watching the broadcasts is bad, and she'll raise hell, but just between you and me Caroline-"

"I'll bet she's watching too."