There had been a brief moment, after the adrenaline that came from fleeing the scene of the explosion had faded, where he had stopped to redo his bandages. His hat was gone. Left behind on the beach with Saku and the explosion—was she gone as well? Or was she holding on? Suffering, bleeding…dying. He had told her, hadn’t he? That he was gonna let her down. That had been what he had planned to do all along, wasn’t it? Leave her to die before she killed him or he had to kill her. That’s what he told himself. Telling himself was supposed to make it true. Making it true was supposed to make him feel better. He was supposed to feel better. He didn't.
It was tough to sleep next to someone you disliked. You couldn’t hug someone you didn’t care about. Hold the hands of a girl you despised? Kiss someone you found disgusting? The reality was that he could front and he could fake—but the best lies had an element of truth in ‘em. The truth was…he had cared about Saku—but he hadn’t been ready to die for her. He hadn’t been ready to watch her die either. So what'd he do? He had left her to die on her own. With strangers. He had been kissing her, touching her, cleaning her. She had been kissing him, touching him, healing him. They had been helping each other—if only for a short time. For a short time they had both been willing to play pretend with the other. What was the best way to get over somebody? Getting under someone else.
Rap lyric for everything. Still? Seemed kinda inappropriate, considering the situation. Being seen as inappropriate was the least of his concerns--he was likely seen and known as much much worse.
[ Ace Beats Continued From: all I ever asked is keep it 8 more the 92 with me ]
Beats had left more than Saku and his dignity on the lake shore—he had left his hat and his shoes as well. Being barefoot and running through the wild wasn’t a good time. Necessity picked his next destination for him. A place he had been before and a place near where he had just spent the night—the Shoe Tree. It had been over a week since he had been there with Ivy and Connor but it was still distinct and the same path he had taken from the Nature Lookout with Saku would lead to the area.
He had told her he was gonna end up disappointing her and she had said that she knew that. He had told her and she already knew. He knew that she knew. He knew that she knew that he knew that she knew. What was there to be mad about? Ace had only done what he had said he was going to do: milk Saku for whatever happiness she could give him and then leave her to get killed before he had to kill her himself. How could he be surprised? How could she be disappointed? Why was he?
When he got to the Shoe Tree, he scanned the area with his flashlight. Ace searched the branches for a worthwhile prize and he found it—a pair of dusty black canvas and rubber soled old school basketball shoes. They looked like they had seen better days…they would have to do.
The other gun he had gotten from Ivy’s bag: the Kel-Tec P-32, was in his waistband. It was smaller and more compact that the four-five and not as cumbersome as the BR-18. Ace dropped his bag on the floor and carefully removed the big dusty pair of sneakers nailed to the base. The canvas felt stiffened by dirt and the sun when he put them on—but it felt better to have shoes. Anything was plenty. He took a seat at the base of the tree. Shirtless, bandages around his chest and bandages around his forehead, gun in his waist and dirty shoes on. His green eyes stared at his feet, the black and dusty shoes. He thought about his white on white adidas and how he cleaned them everyday when he was back home.
“What a waste of time that was, huh?"
He didn’t need to talk to himself to tell you he was bad at conversation.
