((Diego Larrosa continues from Crimewaves))
One dead friend hadn't been enough, apparently.
He'd wanted to come out to Theo, or just talk to him one more time, at least, but Cam had denied him that. Strangled him like a weed, the announcements had said. They'd rewarded her for it, too.
He felt sick. He wanted to throw up, but that would be a waste of food he didn't have. The tears he'd shed earlier had been a waste of water he didn't have.
The announcements had said that Cam would head over to the ruined lighthouse. That was where her prize was for killing Theo. The building was near the pier, Diego was familiar with the area. From there, there was a trail, its ultimate destination the beach. But, before that, it would pass by the yacht, and then the woods. Here.
He didn't know for sure that she'd take this trail. For all he knew, at the fork past the pier, she would go left and enter the village, and they'd be separated another day.
He just had a feeling, he guessed. A hunch.
He didn't have any other option, too.
He scratched at a mosquito bite on his collarbone. His skin was sticky, but dry. The weather here had wrung out the last drops of sweat from him a few hours ago. The last time Diego had had a sip of water was two days ago, Cam's bottle, he thought, shortly before he lost her and Theo.
So much had changed since then.
His head still ached, but he felt that was less the cut and more dehydration finally getting to him. One self-inflicted wound for another. His face had more or less been washed after his dip in the ocean, there was just a horizontal gash across his forehead, blood clotted.
Every step felt like it took twice as long as it normally did. The turn in the path was only a few hundred feet away, but it looked like miles too. The back of his throat was dry, it hurt to swallow. It hurt to walk. It just hurt in general. Even before the announcements, there had been this hole inside him. The ferns and unnamed fruits and strands of seaweed he consumed helped a little, but only a little, made the pain bearable and not all encompassing.
The thought of meeting Cam, talking to her after the announcements, it made him want to vomit, but that would be lost nutrients. He was so reduced already, so wasted, he couldn't afford it. He wanted to run away, but he didn't have the energy at this point. He had walked as far as he could, this was where he had to wait. There was no other option.
It had been a few hours since then. The sun was directly above, the shadows cast by the foliage were small and sharp, riddled with holes. Even in the forest, there was no respite from the heat, no single spot that would fully protect him.
As long as she saw him, that would be enough. So, he chose a spot by a tree. He leaned on his shovel, and waited.
Love itself is just as innocent as roses in May
Day 9, noon, private
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BlizzardeyeWonder
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[Camilla Bell continued from Everlasting - True Love - I Am Yours]
Camilla held onto the grenade launcher, maybe out of an irrational belief that holding a weapon would make her feel safer. It didn't, and feeling safe didn't even matter, but she did it anyway because if she had made any good decisions in the past few days, she wouldn't be in this situation. And maybe the fact she was still alive or clinging to life at all was the biggest terrible decision of all- or a sign they weren't terrible enough.
She had a hunch, though- more like a pit in her stomach, really- that someone would be waiting for her. Someone who'd finally end this. Or maybe it would be-
-Diego.
There he was, just a short walk away. All she had to do was look up from the ground. It was clear he'd been waiting. Maybe for her.
In a way, this was both exactly what Camilla wanted, and yet, not at all. And her suspicion was right, proven right in a way by the re-appearance of the shovel that fell into the sea, evidence that despite everything, Diego was simply too stubborn to die on his own.
But he had to die, just like Camilla had to die, because they were stragglers. Everybody else had already left, and they were stragglers, and they couldn't straggle much longer because wherever one went, everyone else followed.
They were family and that meant they had to stay together.
Even if it killed them.
Even if it had to come down to this.
But the weapon in her hand was just... too much. Everything the terrorists did for their little "prize" was too much. The whole island was too much. Camilla eyed the lighter, presumably less messy and loud shovel, and felt the same envy she felt looking at the shotgun in Lucas' hand when she had nothing. The grass was always greener, indeed.
But besides, Diego probably thought the grenade launcher was too much, too. An idea popped into her head.
Camilla took a step to the side, and put the grenade launcher at the foot of a tree. She took a step away, raised her hands away from the firearm to make her intentions clear, motioned to it as an indication for Diego to do the same, before walking a few steps closer to Diego, unarmed.
For now.
Camilla held onto the grenade launcher, maybe out of an irrational belief that holding a weapon would make her feel safer. It didn't, and feeling safe didn't even matter, but she did it anyway because if she had made any good decisions in the past few days, she wouldn't be in this situation. And maybe the fact she was still alive or clinging to life at all was the biggest terrible decision of all- or a sign they weren't terrible enough.
She had a hunch, though- more like a pit in her stomach, really- that someone would be waiting for her. Someone who'd finally end this. Or maybe it would be-
-Diego.
There he was, just a short walk away. All she had to do was look up from the ground. It was clear he'd been waiting. Maybe for her.
In a way, this was both exactly what Camilla wanted, and yet, not at all. And her suspicion was right, proven right in a way by the re-appearance of the shovel that fell into the sea, evidence that despite everything, Diego was simply too stubborn to die on his own.
But he had to die, just like Camilla had to die, because they were stragglers. Everybody else had already left, and they were stragglers, and they couldn't straggle much longer because wherever one went, everyone else followed.
They were family and that meant they had to stay together.
Even if it killed them.
Even if it had to come down to this.
But the weapon in her hand was just... too much. Everything the terrorists did for their little "prize" was too much. The whole island was too much. Camilla eyed the lighter, presumably less messy and loud shovel, and felt the same envy she felt looking at the shotgun in Lucas' hand when she had nothing. The grass was always greener, indeed.
But besides, Diego probably thought the grenade launcher was too much, too. An idea popped into her head.
Camilla took a step to the side, and put the grenade launcher at the foot of a tree. She took a step away, raised her hands away from the firearm to make her intentions clear, motioned to it as an indication for Diego to do the same, before walking a few steps closer to Diego, unarmed.
For now.
"No sun to rise would be okay with me... Everyday, every day is okay"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
There they were. The last of the gardening club, reunited.
Diego matched her steps, one step back for every step of hers forward. He held his hands out in front of him. Stay away, he meant.
She looked so normal, still. Remove some dirt, sweat, the gun-like weapon in her hand, and it'd be like running into her after school.
She raised her hands, took them away from the weapon. Those hands had been around Theo's neck, yesterday. They had refused Diego the right to see Theo one more time.
Diego took a deep breath, swallowed. Forced what little he'd eaten to stay down.
He understood her intentions here, in this present moment. What she wanted him to do. The shovel had been his only possession, his only protection for two days now. He felt like it would stick to his hand if he tried to drop it.
He laid it down anyways, against the tree he'd been standing next to. He listened to his friends, usually.
"Why'd you do it?" he asked after a few seconds.
Diego matched her steps, one step back for every step of hers forward. He held his hands out in front of him. Stay away, he meant.
She looked so normal, still. Remove some dirt, sweat, the gun-like weapon in her hand, and it'd be like running into her after school.
She raised her hands, took them away from the weapon. Those hands had been around Theo's neck, yesterday. They had refused Diego the right to see Theo one more time.
Diego took a deep breath, swallowed. Forced what little he'd eaten to stay down.
He understood her intentions here, in this present moment. What she wanted him to do. The shovel had been his only possession, his only protection for two days now. He felt like it would stick to his hand if he tried to drop it.
He laid it down anyways, against the tree he'd been standing next to. He listened to his friends, usually.
"Why'd you do it?" he asked after a few seconds.
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BlizzardeyeWonder
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Diego stepped back. Stepped back again- when she stepped forward. She stopped, and her breath caught. She understood this would happen, right? Regardless of whether or not Diego could read her thoughts. Camilla took a step back, almost involuntarily, just processing Diego's reaction to it all.
Still, he dropped the shovel, as she hoped he'd do. There was silence, for a few precious moments.
But he asked why.
It wasn't like it was difficult to answer, if she paced herself, simply told it as is, but she couldn't do that.
She sighed, in resignation. It was only fair.
"Do you want me to begin right when you left?"
Still, he dropped the shovel, as she hoped he'd do. There was silence, for a few precious moments.
But he asked why.
It wasn't like it was difficult to answer, if she paced herself, simply told it as is, but she couldn't do that.
She sighed, in resignation. It was only fair.
"Do you want me to begin right when you left?"
"No sun to rise would be okay with me... Everyday, every day is okay"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
She was stunned at his reaction, as if she'd expected anything else. Betrayal on his part, it felt like. It was painful to look at, despite everything. And, there was something in the way she phrased things. 'When you left.' A hint of blame.
He'd had nothing to do with Theo's murder. He hadn't been there.
Was that why? Had that been part of it?
"...yeah. Start there."
He'd had nothing to do with Theo's murder. He hadn't been there.
Was that why? Had that been part of it?
"...yeah. Start there."
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BlizzardeyeWonder
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Camilla nodded, and took a deep breath.
"We waited. And waited. Til nightfall. I didn't know whether to head out and look for you- I told you we'd be right where we were. Theo..."
She fell silent for another moment. There was no reason for her to feel her pulse against her skin the way she was, to feel as antsy as she was right then. She continued talking, hoping maybe that could help.
"He asked me what happened the night before. Our conversation. I told him the gist of it, but spared a few details, and I think he realized that. After that we talked about other stuff- the afterlife, mostly. He kept trying to assure me I didn't need to think about it. Was getting late though, so we slept. Well, he slept. You know by now."
She started to pace, casually. It almost felt like a meeting, back home, and she could almost see the blue walls and square tiles of the biology classroom where the gardening club had their meetings, she could almost imagine having to walk around the desks scattered around as she paced for no reason at all.
"...the next morning, we decided to wait until the announcements to look for you. What we heard..."
So in other news, the carnation sale went really well...
She paused, shook her head to clear it, and started pacing again, for no reason at all.
"I had a bit of a breakdown, and Theo was... so calm. It was... uncanny, honestly. I got more mad at him than I should have over it, and then he- he broke down too."
Hey, it's marigold season isn't it? I just love marigolds.
She stopped again, her back turned to Diego as she stared through the wilderness.
"He thought I hated him. I didn't. But..."
"We waited. And waited. Til nightfall. I didn't know whether to head out and look for you- I told you we'd be right where we were. Theo..."
She fell silent for another moment. There was no reason for her to feel her pulse against her skin the way she was, to feel as antsy as she was right then. She continued talking, hoping maybe that could help.
"He asked me what happened the night before. Our conversation. I told him the gist of it, but spared a few details, and I think he realized that. After that we talked about other stuff- the afterlife, mostly. He kept trying to assure me I didn't need to think about it. Was getting late though, so we slept. Well, he slept. You know by now."
She started to pace, casually. It almost felt like a meeting, back home, and she could almost see the blue walls and square tiles of the biology classroom where the gardening club had their meetings, she could almost imagine having to walk around the desks scattered around as she paced for no reason at all.
"...the next morning, we decided to wait until the announcements to look for you. What we heard..."
So in other news, the carnation sale went really well...
She paused, shook her head to clear it, and started pacing again, for no reason at all.
"I had a bit of a breakdown, and Theo was... so calm. It was... uncanny, honestly. I got more mad at him than I should have over it, and then he- he broke down too."
Hey, it's marigold season isn't it? I just love marigolds.
She stopped again, her back turned to Diego as she stared through the wilderness.
"He thought I hated him. I didn't. But..."
"No sun to rise would be okay with me... Everyday, every day is okay"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
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BlizzardeyeWonder
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"He thought I hated him, but honestly? It was the opposite."
"Make of that what you will."
"Make of that what you will."
"No sun to rise would be okay with me... Everyday, every day is okay"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
"...make of that what you will?" Diego muttered.
'I love you,' Cam had said in the infirmary, before he almost left. The words had meant so much back then. They'd been enough to make him stay, for a bit. Enough to bring him back here, even after everything.
They still did mean a lot, now. A lot in the sense of weight, in the sense of a rock on top of you, squeezing the air out.
'I love you,' he imagined her saying, before she strangled Theo.
"Did he- did he want to die?" His voice suddenly pitched in volume, his eyes wide in surprise, more than anger.
He needed to control himself. He needed to stay calm.
He held his hand up, looked down, closed his eyes. Let out a long, deep exhale.
"Sorry," he said in a much quieter voice. "But, is that what you're trying to say?"
'I love you,' Cam had said in the infirmary, before he almost left. The words had meant so much back then. They'd been enough to make him stay, for a bit. Enough to bring him back here, even after everything.
They still did mean a lot, now. A lot in the sense of weight, in the sense of a rock on top of you, squeezing the air out.
'I love you,' he imagined her saying, before she strangled Theo.
"Did he- did he want to die?" His voice suddenly pitched in volume, his eyes wide in surprise, more than anger.
He needed to control himself. He needed to stay calm.
He held his hand up, looked down, closed his eyes. Let out a long, deep exhale.
"Sorry," he said in a much quieter voice. "But, is that what you're trying to say?"
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BlizzardeyeWonder
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"...he wanted to be able to do something other than cry."
Camilla turned around, to face Diego again. It was difficult to look him in the eye- so she didn't, really.
"Surely, he wanted to see his friends again, but I don't know if he wanted to die, per se. What I'm trying to say is... I didn't want to see him suffer. See the island break him down any further."
She stopped. Tried to steady her breathing. The most basic piece of advice, but she felt guilty for following it.
"Is that all you wanted to hear?" she asked, despite her breathing being shallower than it should have been.
Camilla turned around, to face Diego again. It was difficult to look him in the eye- so she didn't, really.
"Surely, he wanted to see his friends again, but I don't know if he wanted to die, per se. What I'm trying to say is... I didn't want to see him suffer. See the island break him down any further."
She stopped. Tried to steady her breathing. The most basic piece of advice, but she felt guilty for following it.
"Is that all you wanted to hear?" she asked, despite her breathing being shallower than it should have been.
"No sun to rise would be okay with me... Everyday, every day is okay"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
"...yeah."
That was a lie. He didn't want to hear any of this. He didn't want any of this to be happening. But, she'd said enough about Theo.
An act of love.
He took in another deep breath.
"I... I'm not scared of- of you. You stayed for me, so I'll stay for you."
Another lie, the first sentence. But, Cam hadn't been scared of him in the infirmary. Rule of reciprocity, or at least an attempt at it.
Just the two of them.
He could almost rationalize, if not justify, what had happened, given enough time. Diego had left. They'd waited. He hadn't come back. He hadn't been there. She'd needed him there. Theo hadn't been enough for her—the thought made him sick—and Cam had snapped.
It was almost justifiable.
But, it didn't matter whether or not it was justifiable. What she'd done didn't matter.
It didn't matter that she'd taken one of the few friends Diego had left on this island.
It didn't matter if she'd strangled the life out of Theo, like the announcements said.
It didn't matter if she was lying to him, if she'd killed him just to get her one kill.
It didn't matter if she wasn't lying to him, if she'd literally loved him to death.
He needed her to know he was still her friend. He needed her to stay.
He needed her.
Rule of reciprocity, again. She'd owed him an explanation, and now he owed her one.
He looked her in the eye, hesitantly.
"I'm sorry for leaving. I am so, so sorry. I, uh, I got lost, on the way back. I tried heading back to where you guys were, but I couldn't find you. That's, uh, why I met you here."
A pause.
"Some way of meeting, huh." He half-shrugged. The barest attempt at levity.
That was a lie. He didn't want to hear any of this. He didn't want any of this to be happening. But, she'd said enough about Theo.
An act of love.
He took in another deep breath.
"I... I'm not scared of- of you. You stayed for me, so I'll stay for you."
Another lie, the first sentence. But, Cam hadn't been scared of him in the infirmary. Rule of reciprocity, or at least an attempt at it.
Just the two of them.
He could almost rationalize, if not justify, what had happened, given enough time. Diego had left. They'd waited. He hadn't come back. He hadn't been there. She'd needed him there. Theo hadn't been enough for her—the thought made him sick—and Cam had snapped.
It was almost justifiable.
But, it didn't matter whether or not it was justifiable. What she'd done didn't matter.
It didn't matter that she'd taken one of the few friends Diego had left on this island.
It didn't matter if she'd strangled the life out of Theo, like the announcements said.
It didn't matter if she was lying to him, if she'd killed him just to get her one kill.
It didn't matter if she wasn't lying to him, if she'd literally loved him to death.
He needed her to know he was still her friend. He needed her to stay.
He needed her.
Rule of reciprocity, again. She'd owed him an explanation, and now he owed her one.
He looked her in the eye, hesitantly.
"I'm sorry for leaving. I am so, so sorry. I, uh, I got lost, on the way back. I tried heading back to where you guys were, but I couldn't find you. That's, uh, why I met you here."
A pause.
"Some way of meeting, huh." He half-shrugged. The barest attempt at levity.
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BlizzardeyeWonder
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Camilla pressed her lips together. It was written all over his face, that he was scared. Yet, Diego asked her to stay. She wondered about it- wondered if this is what he felt towards Lorenzo, a killer, but hey. Wasn't anyone at all better than no one?
But Lorenzo didn't betray Diego's trust, did he?
"Of course, didn't expect you to be scared," she noted, even though that wasn't the truth. None of this was. "But..."
She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head.
"You're staying for me?"
But Lorenzo didn't betray Diego's trust, did he?
"Of course, didn't expect you to be scared," she noted, even though that wasn't the truth. None of this was. "But..."
She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head.
"You're staying for me?"
"No sun to rise would be okay with me... Everyday, every day is okay"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
He rubbed his hands together. Kneaded the joint of his thumb.
"I mean, I'm- I- yeah. Yeah, I'm staying for you. No conditions, right?"
"I mean, I'm- I- yeah. Yeah, I'm staying for you. No conditions, right?"
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BlizzardeyeWonder
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She was a little taken by surprise, hearing Diego say it to her. No conditions. It was what she told him, back at the infirmary. No conditions. It felt nice to hear, really.
Which is why Camilla didn't really buy it.
Once she got over her initial surprise, she smiled slightly.
"And let me guess- you still want an ally?"
Which is why Camilla didn't really buy it.
Once she got over her initial surprise, she smiled slightly.
"And let me guess- you still want an ally?"
"No sun to rise would be okay with me... Everyday, every day is okay"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
"A voice in her head, a voice in her head, screaming all the words that were left unsaid"
Diego was silent for a few seconds.
Mom knew best. Drew had called her that by accident before. It was funny. But it made sense.
She always knew the truth. She always saw through him.
He bit his lip, looked down at the ground.
"...yeah."
She was all he had.
Mom knew best. Drew had called her that by accident before. It was funny. But it made sense.
She always knew the truth. She always saw through him.
He bit his lip, looked down at the ground.
"...yeah."
She was all he had.