Tonight's Star

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

[Meilin Zhou continued from ieatnothing]

Somewhere in between the never ending greenery, Meilin lost sight of Forrest. Pretty embarrassing, she figured her hair would make her stick out the way a siren blares. She overestimated her perception.

As she walked through the never ending greenery, her stomach twisted itself into knots with worry, for everything and everyone. Was Katie okay? Was Forrest okay? Was Ace okay? Would she be okay? She hadn't seen anyone for hours.

Meilin was alone. What even was a Meilin that was alone? As long as she remembered, she was defined by being surrounded by other people. Yet, she no longer wanted that- well. She kind of did. But she also didn't.

How many of their classmates had murdered? Of course some of those were accidents, or self defense, but there were so many names that blurred past every day on the announcements. It felt like at least half of them were either dead or killers.

She wondered how long it would be until she became one or the other- she kept the double-bladed knife thing out, she gripped it tight, nervously awaiting any sign of danger. Those signs never came. In the absence of danger, Meilin thought.

What was she alone?

Alone with her thoughts. They did not help, because they focused exclusively on looking out for people and keeping her safe.

In that order?

Why was it in that order?

The sky was getting darker. The trees were sparse enough here that it could be seen, as cloudy and rainy as it was. Because she didn't want to get sick, Meilin found a sufficient cover-tree quickly, and sat down under its shade. Drips of rain water still sometimes came down, but it was better than what was out there.

She extended her hand, and immediately felt the difference. Even so, the rain that she had avoided was soothing as it pattered against her palm. Meilin couldn't help but smile.

It was always the little moments, wasn't it? The moments when the future and the past didn't matter, and all that was, was a single happy moment.

That was how she wanted to live. In happy moments, that divorced themselves from the flow of time.

She let out a gentle laugh. Those moments in the past were those that she had shared with other people. This was probably the first time she could remember that those isolated pockets of happiness came without help. Nobody could take this at least, even their seemingly omnipotent captors.

Did she find an answer to her question? Not really. But it didn't matter, not yet.

She went to sleep with a smile on her face.

[Meilin Zhou continued in sweeter than heaven and hotter than hell]