Make Happy

[MK Kilmarnock]

((Justin Greene continued from Pick Up the Pieces))

He needed rest. He tried to imagine how anybody else on the island still alive might be feeling, any of the 29 kids that weren't him. This was a fruitless exercise; it seemed pointless to try and walk a mile in somebody else's shoes with his own feet being so sore and likely blistered from how often he needed to trudge from place to place. Justin felt a little slimmer from the days of meager portions to eat and all of this physical activity. Try the SOTF weight loss program! In less than two days, your body will shed the pounds! Belly fat, arm flab, thick thighs, blood, fingers, limbs, other appendages, internal organs... still lost weight, right? That's why you need to read the fine print.

'Read the fine print.' Justin scoffed at his self-deprecation and trudged on grumpily.

The memorial garden (a name that had taken on a different meaning now than before, he supposed) was a good place to stop and patch up for a bit, but a bit too open to stay for good. Staying in one singular spot for too long wasn't ever presented as a viable strategy anyway, not with the terrorists moving those danger zones so often. With no way to mark what had been blocked off, Justin had to rely on memory for what was okay and what wasn't, quickly doubling back if his collar gave a sharp beep to tell him that he was in the wrong area. The most recent area to bar him entry, the village, meant he couldn't go back to his old stomping ground of the infirmary building. Honestly for the best, he told himself... it was getting pretty corpse-y in there.

But there were bound to be bodies all over the island now, littering the landscape or bobbing in the water. A minute ago, he found the mutilated body of somebody who he eventually recognized to be one of the Lucases. Lucas... B. The loudmouth who got himself in trouble through social media. Being a jerk didn't call for a death sentence, so Justin still felt a little bad, but he felt worse for himself when a frustrated search around Lucas's body recovered no supplies.

Now, he set his back against another tree, frustrated. Frustrated and aimless.

[Sunnybunny]

Oh, she'd gone and done it now.

((Let's All Make Believe))

Walking was more tiring than it had even been, and twice as painful. Her body was broken, her heart was mangled, her voice had become the latest causality. It wasn't fried completely, but screaming and crying had left it and her eyes in a state less than great. The only good news was that the struggle to keep herself together kept her mind occupied enough not to dwell on her myriad of losses. It was just the walk, the trees, so many trees...

No beeping, though.

At least her sense of direction hadn't gone completely.

The sound of the cart rolling and her humming had been her only company for hours.

Being unable to cry or speak, it really hurts, doesn't it?

Of course, even that was too good to be true for long. The sight of Justin made her feel many things, all of them ugly and none of them fear. What could he do to her now, when she was this? Kill her, rob her, take her stuff? Who gave a fuck about that?

Someone who thought living was salvation.

Thomas.

Begrudgingly, Sakurako gave the world's laziest wave with her empty hand, pistol still in the other. Not hating him was the most unfair thing of all, really. When she spoke, it came out more like croaking, but what could you do?

"Never took you for a fashion guy."

It hurt her throat to laugh, but at the same time it felt good. She couldn't help but tip her snapback to him, that and the cloth covering her most of her face was a new look itself.

[MK Kilmarnock]

Justin heard footsteps, saw her, and heard her voice all in that order, with each event maybe two seconds apart. Maybe less than that, even. He clutched the SMG, now his primary weapon as the most destructive thing he could possibly fire with one hand, to his stomach as he waited for her to come around the corner. He should have pointed it, he told himself, when Saku was already in sight.

But rather than shoot him on sight as he thought she might, she greeted him. She was armed, he noticed with one-and-a-half functional eyes, the swelling either preventing him from scowling at that fact or giving him a permanently suspicious gaze... he still hadn't dared look at his reflection to see which. Saku greeted him, even with the fact hanging between them that Thomas was now dead. Justin wondered what had happened... was it a mercy kill, or did they have a falling out of sorts? Maybe he learned too late that it really was every man for himself and tried to take Saku's med supplies. Confusing, but not his biggest concern.

At first he couldn't tell that she was making a joke, so he just stood there, looking confused at her. "Wuh?" Justin said blankly, lips hanging open. "Fashion? ... L- I, uh, like your face rag?"

[Sunnybunny]

"Exactly! I'm super intimidating, right?"

A lie or two, but explaining the real reason she'd covered her face would just invite more questions she didn't want to bother with. Besides, however she felt about Justin, it wasn't as if she owed him a damn thing but the bullets in Tomtom's gun.

Why didn't she shoot on sight? Fuck if she knew, but it certainly looked like someone had... and it had hurt him. Was still hurting him, and that made her very happy indeed. She'd never been so thrilled to see another person suffer.

"But yeah, if you'd gone to school rocking your shirt like that you probably would have caught a few eyes."

That didn't matter at all. Was nice that not everything had to.

[MK Kilmarnock]

Justin let his eyes drop a moment to the improvised sling he'd set up, his second shirt loosely dangling around his neck with his arm stuffed in to the middle of his forearm. For the circumstances, it did a respectable job. Kept things in place and prevented his elbow from jostling more than it had to. "I uh... think the blood, cah-ah, woulda caught more, yeah?" Justin asked, his mouth attempting both a smile and a sigh and fully forming neither.

Why was she here? Besides the obvious, if the obvious really was all that obvious... she didn't seem that keen to kill him. Could have used the element of surprise and got the drop on him, but she didn't. Why? Uncertainty threw Justin off more than outward aggression. No action felt to be the right one; no behavior felt the appropriate way to act.

That last thought only lasted for a moment before he settled into himself, staring grimly. Saku was nice. She was great, even, nicer to him than she ever deserved, but there was obviously a right way to act, an appropriate path already laid out before him. He's already killed Aliya. If anybody possibly deserved different, it was her, and that intersection had been passed a long time ago. His mind was made up... he knew what he had to do. Now, he just needed to find the ambition to raise his gun.

That was really hard to do with her staring him in the eye.

[Sunnybunny]

What were they doing here?

The better question was if she was okay with this just being a conversation and not a murder scene. Sakurako honestly didn't know. Maybe it was just really fortunate Justin hadn't killed Princess, the lady of the hour in her heart. Maybe the anger inside of her was satiated by someone wrecking his shit.

More than likely, she just didn't have what it took to shoot at someone she didn't loathe with no provocation.

A croak, then more laughter.

"I don't know, mean as everyone could be back then... they'd probably just assume you got on the wrong side of a Carter and called it a day."

Both of them were gone now, had been for some time.

There was a beat of slience, and then-

"You got an artery. He had a few more days in him, maybe, but he wanted me to have a chance to go home instead."

Nothing in her expression said she agreed with the choice.

[MK Kilmarnock]

Sorry. That sucks. Oh, I see.

Justin cycled through the options before settling on one that was genuine, something an apology certainly wouldn't have been.

"Smart," he said finally with a small nod, looking at Saku's feet. "He was smart." Justin half-smirked after, but only because he was thinking about how he really had been lucky, far more than he had given life credit for up 'til now. The Carters were a thing he just now remembered, what with killing after killing and coming face to face with two larger-than-life monsters that WEREN'T them. He didn't have to worry about them anymore. Big, boisterous and loud, turns out none of that matters when everybody's got guns. A bullet kills Wyatt Carter just as easily as it kills Lucas Brady.

Even a wound that looked questionably fatal at best. Like Thomas's.

"Do you want to go home?" Justin asked off the top of his head.

[Buko]

For a long time, eleven days to be exact and probably much longer if he wasn’t, Ace didn’t know what he wanted. Let’s be real, he had had no fuckin’ clue what he wanted. And that was a fact of life, right? When you don’t know what you want—you end up with a lotta shit that you don’t. And that had changed for Ace, not overnight, but the epiphanies that echoed only in dreams had a very specific effect. It had taken over 18 years of build up and 11 days of proving...the results were clear. Ace knew exactly what he wanted.

Ace wanted it all.

[ Ace Beats Continued From: The Gift My Father Gave Me pt. 2 ]

The announcement came and went, as it did, every day, same time, same network. Today, it brought with it more of the same—death of friends. Angie, whom he had abandoned and left defenseless. The survival of others—Saku, who he had left to die after gettin’ hit by a grenade. Those two women were memorials to failures and shortcomings. Statues sculpted with selfishness. The guilt washed off him like summer rain. It didn’t disappear, but he no longer dwelled on it.

Ace was taking care of Ace. Nobody could judge him from his place.

Yeah, hard not to judge a young man, crouched in the brush, a pistol in his hand, a fire in his belly and a coldness to his heart. He saw Justin, the back of him—and then he didn’t see anything else. The lesson with Lori had been clear: fool me once shame on you, fool me twice—shame on me. Justin and Ace had crossed paths twice before and bullets and lives were exchanged in each encounter.

He wouldn’t be fooled by him a third time. He flashed to the image of Justin in the infirmary, he thought about how he froze when Aliya chased him. Those were the lessons Justin had taught him. They weren’t the lessons he should’ve remembered.

He rose his pistol and took aim, his whole body trembling. His vision tunneled. All he saw was the back of Justin. He didn’t hear anybody else. He didn’t see anything else. It was all in front of him. Both of those losses and both of those lessons. Just the wrong ones. His finger found the trigger and he thought about the lessons he learned from Justin. He should’ve thought about the ones he learned from Parker. Maybe it was his ghost that took Ace in his grasp and forced him to hesitate in the moment. Ace couldn't tell you in specific.

The only things he could see and feel were the sweat of his palms and the back of Justin's head.

[Sunnybunny]

Of course, Thomas was smart. He hadn't given himself any credit for it, if his tearful declaration before the end had been any indication.

"Doesn't everyone?"

Question with a question.

Now that going home was closer than reality than dream, it should have been simple. Commit to winning, do what it takes, and-

"I wanna live, too."

If she didn't, then what did it mean that everyone she'd loved and outlived? If she didn't, who would? No need for debate, even internally. It wasn't as if she didn't deserve it as much as anyone else, right? No questions, no questions, no q-

"Maybe grab some pizza. Or a bur- no, a pizza burger."

No questions at all.

[MK Kilmarnock]

"Lilly Mae's had a, a mac and cheese burger." Justin blurted. "The place on Beauaguard and Second. I don't know yuh-uh, if you've ever been there. But I could-"

I could kill for

"I could really go for a mac and cheese burger ri-uh, right now, huh?" Justin asked, because there were questions going all around. Everything to avoid the important one. Saku said she wanted to live, but by this point Justin was curious how true that was, because she should have been running out of things to live for right about now. He did understand that HE wanted to live, though. And it wasn't objectionable to think that somebody else might want to, maybe everybody left really did have that fire in their belly just like he did. But from two of the three still-living people he last saw, he really doubted it. Maybe half of them were real contenders to wanting to win. The rest were just roadblocks.

Justin sighed. He needed to give Saku an answer. A real answer, about something less delicious than Lilly Mae's.

"But everybody hates me and, and the only thing I did was want to get out of here."

[Buko]

In the end—when the moment came, it wasn’t the ghost of Parker that stopped him. It was her. In the flesh. Joking as always. Beats hadn’t noticed her at first, either by design or denial. When he heard her speak, about food or something, it took him out of his tunnel vision and for a moment he saw the forest for more than the trees. There was a familiar mixture of emotions: relief that she seemed to have bounced back alright from the explosion, guilt that he had abandoned her, worry that she was about to get hurt again. Visions of Justin cowering in the Infirmary before hitting him in the head played in his mind. Except it was Saku who was getting bashed in the skull. The Saku he had been with at the lake. The beautiful, kind, resilient and brave person who appeared to be everything he was and everything he wasn't at the same time. There was a tug on his heartstring and it kept him in place.

Saku…what the fuck are you doing? This guy is dangerous…what you told me…what he did to Tom…to Sean…

What he’s done to me.

What are you planning...?

What is he?

The pistol grip felt warm in his sweaty palms. What did he do? Did he wait for shit to die down? Did he come in and burst up the scene? How would Saku receive him? How could he explain himself and what he had done to her and still chase away Justin? Ace wanted Saku's forgiveness, Ace wanted Saku's understanding--Ace wanted Justin dead and he wanted to be the one to do it. He wanted his cake and to eat it too. Ace wanted it all.

Beats had abandoned Saku, he had chased her away...and now--he had a chance to save her! He couldn't hesitate. He wouldn't fall back. Those days were over! This was a new day--a new Ace! The real Ace and he wasn't going to shy away from his ugliness and weakness any longer. It was the whole package. Right or wrong--he had to trust his instincts. They were the only things he could stand to trust. They had been a big part in getting him to this point when his mind, body and heart failed him.

So what did Ace do?

“I’m gonna disappoint you, y’know?”

Ace rose up from the brush. His pistol aimed in Justin's general vicinity. His heart was beating, his hands were trembling. He closed his eyes.

"Yep!"

"SAKU! GET THE FUCK DOWN!"

Better than nothing, right? He squeezed the trigger once. Twice. His eyes stayed shut. In the end, when the moment came--he wasn't really aiming much at all.

[MK Kilmarnock]

Justin recognized that voice. Oh, shit, he knew EXACTLY who that was, and the realization swept over his face in an instant as he jumped in place.

Left. Right. Left. Right. Don't stand in one spot, or he would be hit. This was the truth Justin understood and he had a split second to make the decision of which way he'd move. Hesitation and he would die. Pick wrong and he'd just put himself closer to Ace. He didn't know which way he'd come from, not enough time to find out. Justin picked left; he really fell more than anything, pushing off with the right leg while his left knee tucked up to his chest. His momentum kept himself going to the side and slightly forward as well. His right leg came up and swung over his head while his left shoulder planted to the leaves. Following through with the motion found him more or less back on a foot and a knee in a perfect little dodge roll that would make a Dark Souls character proud. One of those perfect little 'get the camera, get the camera!' moments that was never meant to happen the way it did, and probably wouldn't happen again.

Justin didn't stop to take it in as he was choking back on the Madsen, forcing the front end of the weapon up against the crook of his arm. He turned his shoulder just to the left of Saku and pulled the trigger, jerking his body hard to the right. He released after a short burst, turned to where he thought Ace was, and unleased another storm of bullets... directly into the trunk of a tree. He stumbled back, his bag still by that very same tree where he'd left it when talking to the girl. He felt tethered to it by an invisible lifeline that kept him from running too far, keeping him in the radius of danger. Ace was somewhere on the other side of that tree. It protected him. It protected Justin.

Saku...

[Sunnybunny]

If she hadn't been interrupted, she would have told Justin that any hate he'd gotten, he'd earned from his actions. That was fair and more than fair, and taking responsibility for it would just be right. Proper, like Ace's voice in her ears once again.

Wait, "Ace?!?"

Thanks to the day spent with that boy, she knew the proper way to apply the aid she needed. It wouldn't be nearly as neat since she didn't have the luxury of a bullet hole, but making due was the law of the land.

Lucky to be cute, because they were so stupid.

Nothing would be covering up the bandage on that missing ear now, and he'd probably get an infection, but that was out of her hands now. Her empty hands, which longed to hold someone else's.

She would have liked to hear a certain jerk's opinions on music that wasn't his own.

So on, so forth, so her body didn't so much get the fuck down as collapse on itself, as if she were playing the world's cruelest game of twister. Metal kissed her face on the way down, surely leaving a bruise on the cheek not pierced by shrapnel. It was the price she paid for not watching her step a week ago, and as Sakurako landed on all fours...

She looked down at her torso, and-

Laughed harder than anyone watching ever would. She got the joke. She understood.

[Buko]

It was fucked up, he knew it, but deep down inside—Ace loved the game. This game, that game--all games. Prolly why he couldn't help himself. If there were games to play, Beats would be playing them.

He loved the hustle. Feeling that familiar feeling. The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat—the strength that came from overcoming the struggle. Ace was addicted to how that winning tasted and sure in his heart that he would never experience that thrill again. The distance of the field created the closeness of the island. His sureness formed into certainty. That certainty created fear. That fear created fire. That fire was fuel. The only thing that a shark knew was eat. The only direction Ace could move was forward.

In football, if you were thinking—you were losing. Muscle memory. Instinct. Focus. One play at a time, one yard at a time, step by step, inch by inch—moment by moment. It was all about the next play. Failure wasn’t something to shy away from. It was part of the process. Coming up short was the only way that you could truly learn how to stand tall.

It was fucked up, he knew it, but deep down inside—Ace loved the game. He also knew there was no love in it. It didn’t love you back.

The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat—the strength that came from overcoming struggle. The competitive mindset that had molded him and shaped him. They all came with this game too. Deep down inside—Ace knew that what this game meant was death. He was so scared, he had come to the other end and felt almost like that cowardice had transformed into courage. At the end of the day, Ace would take care of Ace. Ace would do what he would have to do. Fear and doubt—weren’t enough to stop him. Guilt—wasn’t enough to give him pause.

So why’d he wait until he heard Justin shoot back to open up his fuckin’ eyes? Why couldn't he give focus to Saku? Beats couldn't see her face but he could hear her laughing, crumpled up on the floor. The bullets forced Ace to drop down as well, like he was doing up-downs at football practice. Luck protected him and caused the return fire to miss. His eyes were on Justin and his mind on the bullets--his spirit turned to Saku. Saku and that damn laugh. Why'd that chuckle make him feel encouraged? Well, if she was laughing--that meant that she was safe. What else was it? Was being in a fight and hearing a girl he like laugh and root him on enough to make him feel brave? To make him feel strong? Was he so simple? So dumb?

Have you been paying the fuck attention?

Ace was strapped--the BR-18 hanging over his shoulder, the pistol in his hand, the two other ones in his pocket and waistband. His eyes followed Justin's frantic sprint to a tree. This time his green eyes saw red. He rose up from his crouched position and took a knee. Beasts screamed from the brush.

"Get the fuck out from around here and the fuck away from her!"

Both hands on the pistol. Aimed at the tree. Eyes narrowed. Wrist straight. Aim steady. He squeezed the trigger three more times.

[MK Kilmarnock]

Saku hit the deck and Justin thought little of it. If she was fine, she was fine and if she was dead, she was dead. There would be time to dwell later. Right now, Ace was important, and the focus of his attention. Ace called to him and Justin willed to call back to him. When he thought of no words, he simply let frustration bubble from his chest as he sidled aggressively toward the tree.

Ace had been positioned better. He must have been, though Justin could have no way of telling exactly where he was, because Ace was able to get shots off before his position could even be given away. Three bangs and a secondary explosion went off next to Justin's head, then everything went dark in his right eye.

There was no pain at first, more of the dull feeling of an impact, like a heavy object was dropped on the floor near to where he was standing... only that feeling was now in his head. Any and all forward momentum was halted and Justin tried to raise his hand to his eye, but said hand happened to be full of gun and that wasn't very conducive to self-care. Awkwardly, he tried to wiggle his elbow to get at his head with his upper arm. It was around this time that the discomfort transformed into searing pain. A shrill cry heralded Justin's retreat, coursing adrenaline being the only thing keeping his other eye open as pressure mounted across the front and side of his face. His eye... did Ace just shoot out his eye? Was he half-blind now!?

"ACE! AAAAYEEAAAAAUGH!" Justin screamed, sticking his arm out and wildly unloading the rest of the clip while running forward. He only had enough left for a short burst's worth, enough to slam the Madsen down atop his bag, pinch a corner of the bag where a raised seam gave it shape with his thumb, and drag it backwards.

It worked, for a few steps at least, but his improvised grip lacked power. Thinking quickly, he snatched up two magazines atop his bag, stuffing them down his second shirt where they landed on the hand tucked inside. If Ace came around the tree he was likely dead, with only the pistol in the crack of his ass as his secondary, a slow draw, and the tire iron strung through a belt loop... an emergency weapon, one always there for him, but one highly unlikely to strike Ace ever again. He never again glanced at the bag that he was about to abandon, snatching up the gun once more as he called out: "COME OUT SUH-SUH-SUH I'LL F- SO I CAN F-FUCK-KING KILL YOU!"

A bluff. But he just needed the second or two Ace might think about waiting. Sheer audacity got him this far. What was a little further? Face contorted in agony and in rage, Justin backpedaled himself clear until a shrub was so rude enough as to ambush him from behind, toppling backwards over it... but also behind cover. He could ignore the soreness in his neck from how he landed, another gift from the adrenaline that his body was surely about to run out of in the next few minutes. Somewhere in the middle of it, he thought Saku was looking pretty bad.

And Justin wanted to feel bad, because she wanted to live. He did feel bad. But he also felt that sick sense of accomplishment, that no matter how hard or how much adversity was thrown his way, he was getting shit done.

He wanted to live more.