When I'm gone

[BlizzardeyeWonder]

[Camilla Bell, TRIP 1]

For the time Camilla had been on this trip she couldn't help but keep stealing glances at her suitcase, standing upright against the wall. A plain, navy blue suitcase, that did its duty well, but nevertheless had its interior coated in printed photos of the Chattanooga landscape. Over the last month before the trip she had taken the fancy little printing camera all over the town- a novelty, her dad had left behind.

There was a simple reason, but it was odd to think about. In just another couple of months, that suitcase would be filled again with neatly folded clothes and shrewdly stashed books, on a trip out of Chattanooga- but at that time, it likely wouldn't be returning.

Now, she leaned against that suitcase, her knees pressed up to her, as she clutched a tablet, the blue glow of its screen gently illuminating her face. What her roommates were doing she wasn't sure- was Caroline back by now? Maybe she heard the sound of a pencil gliding over paper on the other side of the room, but maybe it was just her mind filling in the routine her ears had adjusted to. Time and space seemed to adhere to different rules in this dimly lit evening in a hotel room.

Tapping at the search bar once more, suggestions immediately began to show up.

[+] Suggestions

>job listings knoxville
>summer jobs knoxville
>university of tennessee
>university of tennesee knoxville accommodations
>chattanooga to knoxville bus

Those struggles that a google search would aid were material woes, the foundation of everything else. It would make little sense to worry about making friends and fitting in when you don't even know where you're going to stay.

It still felt like she'd been avoiding the inevitable hardship.

She hadn't told the gardening club members, or Julien, that she'd be leaving for Knoxville in the summer. Of course she'd stay in touch with them- how could she not? But it still gnawed at her. Why hadn't she told them yet? Their time together was running dangerously short, yet she kept on saying to herself "I'll tell them the next time I meet them." The next meeting comes, and nothing comes of it. The punctual, matter-of-fact part of herself concerned with dates and deadlines always seemed to vanish at those crucial moments, vanished into a pit in her stomach. She gulped. Outside her family she hadn't told anyone, it seems.

Briefly, she laid the screen of the tablet down on her knees as she looked up. Above, an open curtain and a clear window, with the sky of violet twilight and scattering red sunlight. The conditioned air felt cool, and still, as Camilla took in a deep breath.

Her fingers traced the edge of the tablet shakily, a tablet that her auntie had given her upon hearing of her plans. It came with a note.
I think it'll be useful for University. And, whenever you feel homesick, you can call. If I'm asleep, give me an e-mail and I'll reply to it as soon as I wake.
Was it possible to feel homesick before your journey even starts?

She flipped the screen back up to face it again, and went straight for a video call app on it.



After a few rings, a lady whose wrinkles and dimples always seemed to smile, with grayed hair was looking back at her, with understanding eyes.

"Hello, dearie," she greeted.

Camilla gave a soft smile in return. "Hey, auntie."