This Is What We Aim For

[riserugu†]

Something smells really nice...

Which was odd considering the last thing she fully remembered clearly was being on that smelly coach bus, chatting with Adam about something she couldn't quite remember, then after there was nothing... like someone had stopped recording right before she found out what she needed... did that mean she had fallen asleep? She couldn't have, less she was laying on the floor of the bus which would just be horribly disgusting even by her standards, then just what was it? There was something though, something in the back of her mind that she couldn't put her finger on, everything was all hazy like being stuck in a morning fog, clouding up the memories she needed to remember, and almost seemed to be erasing logical and reason. Just what was it? They had—they had watched a movie? Maybe that's why she had fallen asleep... someone had spoken to them; someone had screamed... blood...

Sitting upright with a start Izzy allowed herself to breath, remembering all her breathing exercises, staring almost dumbly at the forest green pack her eyes had locked onto, unable to break her gaze off the stenciled in white numbers that clearly read out, 'G12' and finding herself more confused than ever as she sat there on her knees for a long while simply staring at the bag as if it had the answers to all the questions running around her mind. It took a good three minutes for her just to notice what she was amongst, too feel the feeling of dirt and crushed flowers under her weight, gazing out over the space of the large field that seemed to be full of even more flowers, eyes trying to take in every detail, every colour both pastel and bright... it almost seemed like a dream.

But it couldn't be possible because there was a sharp pounding in her head like the marching band was playing their fight song just as loud as possible, heart thudding in her chest to the point Izzy believed it was just going to burst out through her rib cage. Tilting her attention downward, back on the pack that had been laid near her and reaching out lightly, for the first time noticing just how much she was shaking... this just couldn't be, it just couldn't be real, she was going to wake up at any moment, back in the smelly coach on their way to the end-of-the-year trip. She wasn't sitting in a field opening up a bag that was more or less sealing her fate, she wasn't digging through at an almost frantic pace and gazing over all the items that had been stuffed in there, a sudden chill running up her spine and back down again as her fingers brushed over cold metal and just as quickly yanking her hand back out.

This... this couldn't be true, it just couldn't be.

Swallowing hard, she almost found it a little difficult to do as she finally brought her attention to the piece of metal encompassing her throat, leaving her shaking more than before as she barely allowed the tips of her fingers to brush along it, everything rushing back on her like throwing a movie in fast-forward and making her feel on the verge of being sick to her stomach, resisting the urge to scream... because... because what if someone found her? That was the point of this game... to kill, wasn't it? A harsh acidic taste rising in her mouth as she pressed hands to her ears, letting her head drop as she all but curled into herself in this upright position, forming tears stinging her eyes as she choked back a hard sob. "Oh god... this-this – fuck!" Finding herself caring less and less about the volume of her voice as she felt herself breaking down like daminos, anger flashing just as quickly as she suddenly stood and took her issued bag, stuffing the contents back in and throwing the damn thing just as far as she could across the field.

"Damn it!" Listening as her voice echoed across the field, eyes drawing shut as tears just seemed to keep coming. "Damn it..." She repeated, weakness lining her voice as she dropped back to her knees and banging them none to gently against the hard ground as the sadness and a realization stumbled over her...

This place, wherever it was, this place was where she was probably going to die. Almost floored by this sudden thought spinning a fine web in her mind, she was actually going to die... odd really, when the day before the biggest thing she had been worried about was what college or university she should go too, not death – death was supposed to be already presenting itself to her. Not like this, how long would it take before one of her classmates, one of the very people she had problem spent all of high school with, would come along and try and kill her? This was all just too much... too much, Izzy feeling as she seemed to be tipping over on the verge of breaking down and just sobbing again. Almost giving into the sensation that was making her stomach churn and form shake, but—but she couldn't, she just couldn't, she refused to sit her like this and sob until someone came along and killed her out of pity.

Swallowing again, she pushed herself up off slightly raw knees and partly jogged to where the crumbled bag lay, pulling it up and unzipping it once more as she dug around for what she had felt just a few moments prior, a curious look crossing her face and just what she seemed to have been assigned... almost reminding her of nunchaku, but completely metal. Tisking at this, figuring she'd more likely knock herself out before anyone else, sipping it back into the bag and digging around once more until she located the map she had remembered tossing aside, zipping the bag up and swinging it across her shoulder as Izzy somehow managed to force her shaking hands to undo the map and look over the island that they had been sent to die on. Though she hadn't the foggiest of where to go, she would think shelter but wouldn't everyone be trying that one? Though staying in the open wasn't much to her advantage either...

Sucking lightly on her bottom lip, she refolded the map and set off, moving through the field of flowers which served as an almost ironic reminder of what this place would become... if it hadn't already started. A week ago she had been worried about improving her skills at Guitar Hero III in order to kick Adam's sorry...

Pausing mid-step, she blinked suddenly remembering the boy , unsure why she fumbled around in the pockets of her shorts until she produce her cellphone because she should have known that nothing good could happen, staring defeated at the 'no signal' flashing over and over on the screen as she pushed the object back into her pocket and began walking again. Where too... she hadn't a clue, scared almost at what she might met along the way, because just how much had this already changed people? How many had already killed, or been killed? Just who could she trust now...

[[ Continued In Just A Mirage ]]