No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

[D/N]

(Carly Jean Dooley continued from This Devil's Workday)

"Sooo, I've been working on the mechanics of my swing over the winter, plus it's taken a while to get used to this new grip I'm trying."

Carly picked at her napkin as she waited for the food to arrive. OK, so Sebastien probably wasn't all THAT interested in the particulars of her golf swing, but he was obviously the kind of guy that didn't like, try to dominate the conversation. It was definitely part of his whole artist thing, for sure. So it was pretty much up to her to keep talking, or else the whole thing would just dissolve into some godawful awkward silence. Carly HATED awkward silences.

The drive up had been a tight squeeze to get six of them in Alice's car, but they'd made it just fine. Well OK, they'd stalled out once, but seriously, that was Alice's parents' fault for having such a stupid car. Who the hell still drove a standard transmission in this day and age? Seriously.

Alice and her boyfriend Chad were off shooting a game of pool and Jooli was trying with no success to introduce Elaine to a guy she sort of recognized, so that had left Carly and Sebastien to themselves, which was great because it let the two of them get to know each other more and everything.

"I mean I might even get to play a couple of the local events this summer and if I can do really good with them I can hopefully get the attention of one of the schools down south, so even if I don't go this year I'll like, definitely be able to get their attention by next year."

Was he nervous? .Obviously a guy like him couldn't really be nervous about going out with HER, Carly wasn't THAT conceited or anything, but maybe he just wasn't the kind of guy who opened up that much on the first date. Ooohh, or maybe it was the Varsity, yeah he probably wasn't much for the whole sports bar theme. When they got a solo date together they really needed to go someplace nicer, like maybe P.F. Chang's or something. Carly considered the situation as she took a drink from her Coke Zero. Coke Zero rocked. It tasted way better than Diet did, and it didn't have the calories, so it was totally healthy for her and everything. Nah, things were still going fine. After all, if he wasn't interested, he wouldn't be here, right?

"Or I might even be able to get a sponsor if I'm playing well, I mean not like a BIG one like Nike or anything like that but y'know, there's local companies who'll pay you to have their logo and buy you uh..... y'know..... monogrammed shirts and stuff. That'd be really cool, cause I mean, you can get some REALLY awesome stuff for free that way."

Oh gawd, she really needed to turn this conversation back to him. But she needed to do it smoothly. What did she know about him besides that he was hot and liked to paint?

"So, uh, do they have uh, sponsors for painters? That'd be pretty cool, if you could like, paint stuff for some company and they'd pay you to put their logo or something on it when you put it in a gallery!"

[Super Llama†]

((Sebastian Decartes continued from This Devil's Workday))

"Sooo, I've been working on the mechanics of my swing over the winter, plus it's taken a while to get used to this new grip I'm trying."

"Mmhmm..."

"I mean I might even get to play a couple of the local events this summer and if I can do really good with them I can hopefully get the attention of one of the schools down south, so even if I don't go this year I'll like, definitely be able to get their attention by next year."

"Mmhmm..."

Sebastian leaned back in his seat, listening to Carly babble on endlessly about shit he didn't care about as he waited for the food to arrive. The car ride over had been a rather unpleasant experience. He valued his personal space, and getting crammed into a sedan with six other people pretty much did away with that. And now he got to sit around and wait while this girl he was supposed to be on a date with just wouldn't shut the hell up.

"Or I might even be able to get a sponsor if I'm playing well, I mean not like a BIG one like Nike or anything like that but y'know, there's local companies who'll pay you to have their logo and buy you uh..... y'know..... monogrammed shirts and stuff. That'd be really cool, cause I mean, you can get some REALLY awesome stuff for free that way."

"Mmhmm..."

UGH! THIS WAS PAINFUL! THIS WAS ACTUALLY, PHYSICALLY PAINFUL!

"So, uh, do they have uh, sponsors for painters? That'd be pretty cool, if you could like, paint stuff for some company and they'd pay you to put their logo or something on it when you put it in a gallery!"

Oh yeah, that was such a great idea, wasn't it? You know, this Picasso looks great and all, but what would make it even better is a FUCKING NIKE LOGO SLAPPED ON IT. Sebastian normally wasn't this ornery, but it was people like this; who just talked and talked and talked and talked; that just seemed to bring out the worst in him.

"No, they don't." Not that he knew of, anyway. At least, not counting commissions for ad companies and things like that, but he really couldn't care less about the technicalities at the moment. This whole "scamming a free lunch off someone" thing was turning out to be a bad idea. But still, he started it, so he might as well finish it.

He just wished said food would hurry up and get there already.

[D/N]

"No, they don't."

Ugh. Stupid Stupid Stupid! Seriously, that had been a stupid question to ask, OBVIOUSLY guys like Sebastien didn't want to put logos on their art if they were just drawing it, and that question had just come out way wrong and made Carly look dumb.

"Oh uh, yeah, I guess that was a pretty stupid question there. Heh heh heh." She tried a sort-of-girlish laugh to smooth things over and hoped to God that it worked. But it wasn't really her fault, she'd always had a bad habit of verbal diarrhea, especially when she was getting nervous over something. But she had no reason to be nervous, after all Sebastien was being perfectly polite, so it didn't matter if she made a couple slip-ups as long as things worked out in the end.

Things WERE going to work out in the end, because duh, they just HAD to work out with the two of them. After all, she was definitely going to prom, and obviously Sebastien had to go to prom too, after all who DIDN'T go to prom? Ugh, not going to prom was like stamping LOSER or OUTSIDER right on your forehead, it was like the worst stigma any high schooler could put on themselves. And he was totally not the kind of guy who would go around and ask some girl to go with him, so to all those girls where were going to sit back and not take the initiative, TOO BAD for them, cause Carly was gonna steal their thunder. She needed to go to prom with a guy like him, so she was gonna go to prom with a guy like him. You couldn't get any simpler than that.

And things had picked right up, as the waitress arrived right then and there, before the silence following Carly's laugh had lasted too long.

"Food's here!", Carly beamed cheerfully, happy to have something in front of them that would nip any more of those awkward silences right in the bud. Food. The savior of any conversation.

"The food here's pretty good. Well I mean, it's not like the greatest food in the world or anything, but for what it is it's not bad. So uh....., I'm starved, let's eat!"

Mmmm, Chicken Caesar Wrap. Well, it wasn't like they had any fancy options at the Varsity or anything. And she'd been careful not to order the fries with it, she didn't want Sebastien thinking she was like, some almost-fat slob or anything. And Carly Jean WASN'T fat. Not like some of those other girls in her grade at least. She was just athletic; instead of some rail-thin cheerleader who was gonna snap her back like a twig if she made one wrong jump.

[Super Llama†]

{Shitty short post AHOY!}

Ugh, finally, here came the food. Now we could just eat and cut out quickly. The waitress walked up and presented Sebastian with his own meal: a steak. Not a very high-quality steak; after all, this place wasn't really fancy enough for that, but it was good enough. As long as he got SOMETHING out of this travesty. Hopefully, the food would shut Carly up, at least for the most part. As he ate, he found himself eating rather quickly. After about 10 minutes or so, he'd finished off his last bite.

He took a deep breath. Alright, it was almost time to put this nonsense behind him.

[D/N]

As Carly finished her wrap, she saw that Sebastien was polishing off his meal, and realized that this pretty much had to be the time to ask him out. The girls were going to return to the table soon, and it would be pretty damn awkward to ask him out while they were surrounded by a bunch of her friends.

"See? I tolda this place wasn't that bad. Hopefully they did the steak good, I usually get mine medium well 'cause I don't like it being too red inside."

She glanced behind Sebastien's shoulder as he was pre-occupied with the last bit of meat on his plate, and saw Alice and Chad approaching them

Alice flashed a quizzical thumbs-up that asked "All systems go?"

Eep. No, they can't come back yet. She quickly brought her hand up and waved Alice away. "Not yet."

Then Sebastien was bringing his head up again, and she turned her finger back to twirl her hair a bit. Alright, can't put this off any more, don't get nervous, case you've got this. Ohmmm. Ohmmmm. Do some of that Buddha deep-breath breathing yoga stuff. There you go.

She saw Sebastien take a deep breath of his own. Haha, so he WAS kinda nervous about the whole thing after all! She liked that. It gave him a sorta cute vulnerability to go with his whole stoic nature and everything. And he probably figured she was gonna ask him, so she might as well go right ahead and do it!

"A-ny-wayyyyyy" she continued, carefully drawing out each syllable, before taking a breath and letting the rest of it rush out, "so prom's comin' up and I was wondering if you had a date for it yet?"

There. Now he just needed to say yes. Well, not yes to the "do-you-have-a-date-yet" question duh, but yes to the obvious "will-you-go-to-prom-with-me" question that lurked behind it.

[Super Llama†]

{{fuck, this post is like cursed or something. I've had to rewrite it like six times because it keeps disappearing. >_<}}

And there it was.

To tell the truth, Sebastian was actually looking forward to this moment. This whole "con someone out of a free lunch" thing just turned out to not be worth it at all. Sure, the food was alright, but the fact that she had to listen to Carly's incessant squawking the whole beforehand pretty much just canceled it out.

"No, I don't have anyone to go to prom with." Sebastian said as he stood up from the table. "But then again, I have no intention of going. Especially with someone like you."

His frustration had reached the boiling point. He definitely had more he could say, but as he started to say them he started to have second thoughts. Blowing up in a public place certainly couldn't be that great of an idea. Part of him, though, tried to override these second thoughts, looking for an excuse, any excuse to just cut loose and verbally tear this annoying bitch a new one.

[D/N]

Carly smiled broadly after she'd finally gotten the question out. SOOOO, now it was just time for him to say that he didn't have a date and smile at her and then either he'd up and ask her to go or he'd give her the opportunity to ask him. And then they'd be set!

"No, I don't have anyone to go to prom with."

There was one! But he wasn't smiling, in fact Carly thought his voice sounded pretty damn icy. But that was just how he talked, it didn't mean anything--

"But then again, I have no intention of going. Especially with someone like you."

Someone like her?

The words slammed into her, and Carly was suddenly stunned into silence. Her face scrunched up, but she wasn't crying, she was just.... trying to process what he just said. What the hell? Nonono, that totally wasn't what he was supposed to say. THAT WASN'T WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY!

And was Sebastien almost SMILING at her?

--------------

Chad Ford was a moderately attractive junior, a backup wide receiver, and the steady boyfriend of Alice Wicinski. His first name was actually Chadwick, and that was about the most interesting thing about him. Well, that and his being a mulatto, which Alice had said was apparently some sort of minor scandal to her Polish grandparents. Really, Polish grandparents? It was almost fucking 2010.

Across the room, Chad and Alice had been standing around aimlessly after Carly had shooed them away, Alice returning to pick at the nachos they'd ordered together. Chad let her do so, although he wished she didn't have to shovel those damn jalapenos in her mouth whenever they ordered something Mexican. It was a damn viscous cycle. She ate the stuff, and he suffered later, and he was just too damn nice to tell her to lay off. What was he gonna say? "Sorry hun, but just because you try to let them out silently DOESN'T mean I don't feel the effects? Seriously girl, I play football so I'm used to them, but DAMN, you put some of the guys to shame." So he just let her eat and let his gaze wander across the room, where he saw that things were getting... ugly with Carly and Sebastien. And Alice would be upset if Carly got upset. And by boyfriend law he couldn't let that happen.

"Uh.... Alice?"

------------

"I-I thought that we were having a good time Sebastien I mean..... uh I'm REALLY sorry about the whole painting logo thing and..."

It just didn't make any sense, why would he come out with her if he didn't want a date? Did she say something wrong? Did that whole bit about putting logos on the art really offend his like, artistic sensibilities?

She was still mumbling, when she noticed that he was actually TURNING AROUND TO LEAVE? Whafuck? NonononononoNO, she needed him to be his prom date, what the hell was he doing turning around to leave?

She rose to her feet, feeling desperate and crushed and suddenly angry all at once.

"Are you LEAVING? Wha-wha-wha, you can't just LEAVE, we had a freaking DATE!"

At that same time Alice and Chad arrived at the table, Alice quickly moving over to her friend and Chad hanging back, his job as herald complete for now.

"Whoa whoa Carly, calm down. HEY," Alice called out indignantly; motioning to the guy she'd been with. "What did you say to her?"

[Super Llama†]

That was it.

"Oh, I just informed your friend that she's a noisy, obnoxious bitch and even if I were going to prom, I wouldn't be caught dead even being associated with her." Sebastian spat at Alice as she accosted him. "Fuck, the only reason I agreed to come along was for a free lunch, and it wasn't even WORTH it thanks to the endless blathering I had to put up with the whole fucking time!"

Every eye in the place was turned to this spectacle as Sebastian vented his pent-up anger.

"Little bit of advice." He continued, now turning his attention to the subject of his tirade. "If you want a guy to like you, I suggest you shut the fuck up once in a while. I have to give you some credit, though. The sponsorship for paintings thing is the dumbest thing I've heard in a while."

Sebastian could see one of the staff approaching out of the corner of his eye to tell him to get the hell out. Fucking great. It looked like he wasn't coming back here for a while, if at all. Might as well take his leave now; the damage had already been done.

((Sebastian Decartes continued in The Deconstructionist))

[D/N]

This was NOT what was supposed to happen! No, no, no, damnit! He was supposed to be hers!

Carly saw Alice turn towards her to say something, but she shoved the girl aside and stood up. Her face was beet red and the first couple tears had started to leak out, doing a hell of a job on her makeup. She didn't even process Jooli and Elaine coming up with bewildered looks on their faces. How he could be so EVIL to her? She didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve any of the shit she was always putting up with, she was BETTER than he was and he should have been HONORED to go to the with her!

"You FUCKING jerk! I don't need you, you, you stupid fucking jerk!"

She shoved her chair backwards and backed up a few steps, trying to think, trying to figure out the perfect thing to say to tell this guy off and leave him in the dust, to show him what she was made of.

The perfect thing to say wasn't coming to her.

"And... and your paintings are stupid too!"

She spun on her heels and took off for the exit, She heard Alice should and saw her and Chad start after her, but that only made her move faster. She didn't need their pity, she was just crying because she was so pissed off after that shit Sebastien had pulled. She'd shown him, after all Carly didn't need an asshole like him and he hadn't said anything she couldn't brush off and oh God she was such a loser she was SO pathetic who did she think she was kidding now she didnt' have anyone to go to prom with and she was going to die alone and ugly and it was so so FUCKING UNFAIR! Why was it all SO FUCKING UNFAIR?!

(Carly Jean Dooley continued in The Deconstructionist)

"Elaine, you stay here, I'm going after them."

"Uh... but Jooli there's a staff guy coming and he doesn't look-"

"You can take care of it Elaine!" With that, Jooli Quoh took off after the rest of the group, her high voice fading out as she ran. "Heeeeeeey guys, whahell just happened here???"

Left alone, Elaine Lieberthal scratched her arm and glanced at the Sebastien guy Carly had been with. The waiter or bartender or whoever he was had arrived and was busy shouting out that they didn't stand for that sort of stuff in this place, and she didn't know if Carly was coming back and she... wasn't really sure what she was supposed to do here. No wonder she didn't go out often.

Uh, I'll pay the bill for Carly" she said meekly, looking at the guy they'd rode up with. "You should probably go now."

Figures she'd get stuck with the stinkin' bill. Fun night overall though.