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[Ruggahissy]

"I''m really sorry to hear about what happened."

Jonah grabbed David's hand, gripping it behind both of their backs as they stood side-by-side.

"Yeah," Jonah offered lamely. "I-Um, I'm pretty upset," he said, squeezing David's hand. His brother squeezed back.

Larry, jovial owner of the hardware store was sweet, but direct. Jonah saw him fairly often, but not as often as David who did woodwork in his spare time.

Jonah thought his response was alright, wasn't' it? It was just true enough without going into how he felt completely. He didn't' think he had it in him to respond with something more cheery. It was maybe at about 15% of the emotion he felt and 15% was probably what was appropriate, he thought.

"I'm gonna grab something real quick. I''ll be right back," David said, letting go of Jonah's hand as Jonah internally begged David not to leave him to make small talk with the well-meaning well-wisher.

Don't leave me, please.

"You know, what you have to do is just keep doing the same things you always do and have a positive attitude," offered Larry.

"Uh huh, yep," Jonah replied, smiling weakly. "Thanks for the kind words," he said, nodding his head and starting to walk backwards. His phone buzzed and he excused himself, making himself appear busy by checking it while wandering to where David was.

1 Facebook message

[" I just heard! Let me know if there's anything you need. You're going to get through this : ) " ]

Jonah exhaled deeply and tapped out a reply, thanking the acquaintance for their concern and kind words. "Thank you for your concern and kind words." He felt like it should be written on a sign and stuck to his forehead at this point.

It had been two weeks since he'd been diagnosed and he couldn't't will himself to be happy. He spent his time at home and sulking in his room every day. David and his parents were trying, and he appreciated it. He did. But nothing could change the fact that he felt like he could cry at any moment all the time. It was really nice of people to offer condolences at first, it quickly became a reminder that there was something wrong with him every time.

As David rejoined him at the register with his shopping he gave Jonah a half apologetic look about leaving him. Jonah knew David knew that he didn't' like being reminded over and over that he was sick, even if the people offering their condolences meant well. He knew David knew this even though they'd never talked about it.

"I didn''t-"

"It''s okay"

They drove home in Jonah''s Mustang and he turned out of the parking lot, driving along the road on a Saturday afternoon.

"It's quicker if you go by Maplewood Street," offered David.

"Yeah," replied Jonah, continuing on their current route. "I want to go this way."

"Why?"

"I just do."

"But why? You're gonna hit a lot of lights"

They drove in silence for a moment.

"I don't want to pass the athletics fields," Jonah said, avoiding eye contact with David. His fists clenched the steering wheel.

"Oh."

A moment passed.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm miserable," Jonah responded quickly.

"You're going to be okay. They said the recovery rate given your age and the stage they caught it at are really really good. It's going to be okay," he said, softly but reassuring.

"That doesn't change how I feel. I feel........empty and angry and sad. I think I'm going to feel like that for awhile, even if everything goes as well as it possibly can."

Jonah stopped the car. They arrived in their driveway and sat in silence. David leaned over in his seat and tapped the side of Jonah's head with his head.

"It's fine for you to feel that way for as long as you need to."

The two boys sat in the car, leaning against each other and looking at their house.