90% Mental 50% Physical

[Ruggahissy]

I''m not supposed to be here.

But I have to be.

Jonah ground his teeth together and pulled the bill of his baseball cap down low over his eyes. There was a sharp pain churning in his stomach, reaching out to touch as much of his insides as it could with each pulse of his heart beat.

He wanted to scream. His hand held onto the baseball so hard the stitching dug into his skin. He wanted to shriek and claw at the skin of his cheeks. As far as he could tell hadn''t collapsed because his legs were locked in place and rooted to the ground in a sturdy stance.

Jonah took a deep breath as he waited for his time to come. The people moved like blurs in front of his eyes when batter approached his position in front of the catcher.

Jonah let out a breath that tailed into a whimper; he was ashamed, but no one heard. Tears pricked at the sides of eyes and he angrily shook them away.

Please.

He gathered whatever strength was left in his stupid body, reared back and let the ball fly towards its goal. Dust and dirt flew up in his fading vision as soon as the ball left his fingers. He blinked. His heart was weightless and his stomach flipped. There was no sound and there was no world.

A crack, then silence. The ball went high and had been caught. His teammates rushed past him in a stream of bodies.

Numb and hollow, Jonah shuffled towards the locker room with his head low as if his neck was burdened by its weight.

His muffled consciousness was dimly aware that Abel had grabbed him from behind in a hug.

"[inaudible] did it! [inaudible] Love ya, bud! [inaudible] ok?"

A body came from the front towards him and hands grabbed him by the shoulders. Jonah shut both eyes and tears ran town his face, mixing with sweat and dirt.

""Love you too.""

His fists unclenched, his eyes rolled back and he collapsed.