I Played Baseball With My Younger Brother

Creative Writing Class thread

Situated on the second floor, the English hall is generally fairly populated, since it has many seats in the hallways, making it an attractive alternate lunch and study location. The classrooms here are very well-lit, as this side of the building has the most windows. Students must take some form of English class all four years of their stay, though there are several electives available that satisfy the senior year requirements without providing an overly rigorous academic challenge.
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blastinus
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I Played Baseball With My Younger Brother

#1

Post by blastinus »

(Cynthia Welsh continued from What is a hero?)

"Oh Pamela, my sweet, I was wrong to hire that hitman on you. Can you forgive me?"

"No."

And then Pamela and Ricardo lived happily ever after, and Gerald was homeless.


Cynthia gave herself a quiet smile as she finished proofreading her short story. Professor Collins had emphasized that stories shouldn't be formulaic, and so she'd made an effort to deviate as far from the formula as she could. Most people would have had Pamela and Gerald reconcile their problems in the last part of the story and realize that they were meant to be together. Maybe Ricardo would do something scummy or villainous in order to establish that he was actually a poor match for Pamela, and then Gerald would swoop in from afar in order to save the day. Either that or he would surrender gracefully and allow the two lovers to roller skate into the sunset together. So many possibilities.

"I just hope that my partners like it," Cynthia thought to herself as the teacher walked in and put the class to order. Today was peer review day, and that meant getting into groups and critiquing one another. The idea, she guessed, was that the students would help each other improve by giving constructive advice about each other. By pooling each other's ideas and inputs, the students could create better stories and, therefore, get a better grade.

"And goodness knows, I could use it."

Cynthia was bad at being a critic. Most stories seemed fine to her, so long as the spelling was okay. Mr. Collins, on the other hand, had a lot to say about continuity, tone, and other things that flew right over the young athlete's head, but she really didn't care about any of those. If she liked it, it was good, and that was her final word on the subject. Besides, it wasn't as if the teacher would dock points for her liking something he didn't. Mr. Collins was pretty cool that way.
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Laurels
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#2

Post by Laurels »

((Sophie McDowell continued from Improvise!))

Sophie sat in her desk as Mr. Collins got the class to settle down. She quickly looked down at the essay before her. Sophie wasn't entirely sure what made her pick a Creative Writing class for her Spring Semester. Perhaps she wanted something that stirred her creatively, or she just wanted to see if she could add writing to her list of artistic pursuits. Regardless, she really liked the class. Mr. Collins was a fun teacher, one she didn't mind having two classes with, and she enjoyed getting a challenge to accomplish.

Sophie briefly scanned the essay before her. It was a simple story. Sophie decided to write about her little sisters. She decided to make a fictional escapade where Lindsay, Carrie, and Laurie were suddenly visited by a creature that fell from a star. Turns out the star child is on the run from her psychotic fiance, so her sisters have to protect her from the fiance's minions. It was silly, but Sophie thought it was a good idea.

Still, she was excited to share this story with her classmates. Criticism was something Sophie had issues with when she was younger, something that resulted in many fits of crying and angry song writing. But, this was for school, and she expected most criticism to be about spelling and grammar. Sophie hoped that her word program was enough to catch all the errors, but a fresh view might help her greatly.

Okay, our esteemed panel of judges will now discuss the performance. Let's hear from them.
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Super Llama†
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#3

Post by Super Llama† »

{{continued from The New Constitution}}

I'mlateI'mlateI'mlateI'mlateI'm late I'm late I...la...hoo...

Hiro stopped at the start of the hallway, trying to catch her breath after running from one end of the building to the other to get to class, which proved to be a bad idea when she tires herself out before she can even get th-whoa, dizzy. Running was definitely not a good idea. Hiro leaned against the locker, giving up on getting to class in a timely manner for the moment while she tried to catch her breath, holding onto her textbook with her creative writing assignment stuck between the pages. It took a minute, but she finally caught it, pushing herself off the lockers and stepping forward aga-

*whump*

Only to bump into somebody as she does. She seemed to be doing that quite a bit lately.

"Oh, uh...s-s-sorry." She said, when suddenly she heard the sound of papers hitting the floor.
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MK Kilmarnock
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#4

Post by MK Kilmarnock »

"Well, if you were fucking aware of the world around you, you wouldn't have to be sorry, huh?"

Cody Patton glared down at the little dipshit who had bumped into him and caused him to drop the creative writing assignment he had just finished wasting fifteen minutes of his life organizing. Now, said writing assignment was strewen all over the floor. Now, normally, Cody wouldn't have been too upset by this development, but there were a few factors that were really making this not his day. First, he was already running late for a class that he actually enjoyed, and now Mr. Collins was going to be less than pleased with him. Second, the football team was having a red-flag day with today's practice; that meant extra foot-fires, extra drills, extra hell all around. Third, of all the people to bump into him, it was THIS useless weaboo.

"Well? Why are you still standing there?" Cody asked, dropping his voice to more of a hushed but still demanding ichor. "My papers aren't going to pick themselves up."
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blastinus
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#5

Post by blastinus »

As Cynthia went over her paper for what felt like the hundredth time, a loud bump from outside caught her attention. Not usually much for getting herself involved in other people's problems, she felt nonetheless compelled to take a peek and see what was going on. As she rose from her desk and poked her head out into the hall, she caught sight of two of her classmates standing not too far from the door. Well, one was standing anyway. The other, Hiro Fukuyama, was fallen over backwards, next to a number of sheets of paper.

"Something wrong, Ms. Welsh?" Mr. Collins said, having noticed her standing from her seat.

"No, nothing, sir. Sorry for that," Cynthia said, walking back to her desk, having decided to let whatever situation was taking place outside resolve itself. She knew Hiro and the guy, Cody, but she didn't really care enough to help either of them out. If they wanted to get their stuff in order and get into class, they could do so on their own power.

"Alright, then," the professor continued, addressing the entire class, "you know the drill. Form up into groups of four. If you need me, I'll be available for questions throughout the class period. Let's get to it!" he finished with a sweep of his arms that made Cynthia involuntarily chuckle. Mr. Collins was always very fond of his work. It was rare to see a day when he didn't seem absolutely pumped to be teaching kids about the fundamentals of language and literature. That's what made his classes so fun.

As the class immediately began segregating itself, Cynthia's eye fell on Sophie McDowell, a nice girl and an artist. If anyone would have a good eye for story writing, she probably was pretty close to it. Besides, she was only sitting a couple of seats away.

"Hey Sophie," Cynthia casually said, moving over to a desk near her. "Mind partnering up?"
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Laurels
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#6

Post by Laurels »

"Please Mikdee sisters!" begged Stellana, "if Cossak finds me, he will force me to be his bride."

Hm. I wonder if these names are a bit corny.


Sophie then heard a loud bump outside the class. She quickly peaked out the door and saw Hiro Fukuyama picking up papers on the ground, while Cody Patton was watching her pick them up. Sophie figured that Hiro must have bumped into Cody. Sophie sighed.

Poor Hiro. Seems like this thing happens to her a lot.

Just then, Mr. Collins told the students to divide into groups to review their stories. Sophie began to organize her materials when she was approached by Cynthia Welsh. Sophie knew Cynthia was into volleyball, and figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to work with her.

"Sure, I wouldn't mind working with you. I hope you don't think my story is a waste of time though."

Sophie then turned back to the door.

"Hang on, let me check on these two."

She got up from her seat and moved over to Hiro and Cody.

"Hey, you guys need any help? We're about to start reviewing are assignments, so why don't you join us?"

I wonder what these guys wrote.
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Super Llama†
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#7

Post by Super Llama† »

"Well, if you were fucking aware of the world around you, you wouldn't have to be sorry, huh?"

Hiro winced at the harshness of that statement. Of all the people she had to bump into, it just had to be Cody, didn't it? She shared a class with him for long enough to know about how he looked down at people like her with utter contempt. She bent over, gathering the papers off the floor and arranging them back into a neat stack, just as one of her classmates came out and asked if she needed help.

"I-I-I'm okay." She said in a barely audible tone of voice as she meekly handed the papers over, half-expecting them to be snatched violently out of her hands. As the papers were taken back, she readjusted her textbook under her arm and...

Wait a minute, where was her assignment?

...oh no, don't tell her she dropped her assignment on the floor, too. And she didn't really pay attention to the papers she was picking up.

"Uh..." She said reluctantly to Cody, hugging her textbook in front of her. "I...I-I think my assignment..."
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MK Kilmarnock
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#8

Post by MK Kilmarnock »

"Uh, yeah, nobody cares," Cody muttered as he ripped the papers from Hiro's hands. He never recalled asking her if she was alright, but hey, some people just liked to pretend they were important.

With the papers all nice and neat and back in his hand, Cody turned a hard shoulder and stepped inside the room, completely ignoring Sophie as he went. Yeah, he wasn't even going to dignify that with a response and, even if he was in the mood, there wasn't any doubt that he was cutting tardiness in this class a little close. He would have been surprised if Mr. Collins didn't reem him a new asshole then and there.

The boy sat down in his usual response and set his backpack underneath the desk, placing the papers neatly on his desk. It was a good, heavy stack, a testament to how many hours of misery he spent staring at a computer screen trying to write something for this damned assignment. ... Actually, the stack was a little... too heavy.

Shit, my story wasn't this many pages! What else is in here!?

Cody began thumbing through page after page, growing increasingly irritated with what he saw. Sure enough, not only were his own papers out of order, but mixed in were pages from a completely different assignment. Then, on one of the pages, there was a heading.

Hiro's paper.

Oh, son of a-
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blastinus
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#9

Post by blastinus »

As the rest of the groups began to fill up, Cynthia sighed and braced herself for a monumental task. She'd seen Cody come in along with Hiro, and it was becoming more and more evident that she was getting shafted so far as willing partners went. Hiro she was okay with. The girl seemed more quiet than anything, and Cynthia was more than willing to fill any voids with her own words. Cody, meanwhile, could be a bit of a pain to work with, and if there was any other choice, Cynthia would have snapped it up in a heartbeat. She shouldn't have let herself be distracted by the incident with him and Hiro.

And so it was that Cynthia found herself walking over to Hiro and saying, "Hey, you want to work with us? We're two people short." She wasn't sure exactly how she'd approach Cody, but she'd knock down that door when she reached it.
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#10

Post by Laurels »

Hiro was fine. She was just going to continue picking up papers. She told Sophie she was alright as she handed them to Cody, although his response was less than decent. Sophie didn't understand how someone could devalue a human life, and she was kind of shocked that Cody would claim that no one would care if Hiro was hurt or not.

Cody then pushed his way past Sophie and went into the class. Cynthia had come over and asked Hiro if she wanted to join them in their peer group. However, Hiro seemed a bit preoccupied. She asked Cody for her essay.

Oh, her essay must have gotten mixed into the other papers. Well, I guess we have our group.

"Also, Cody, would you like to join our group? Looks like the four of us are the only ones without a complete group," Sophie asked Cody.

She hoped this wouldn't be too problematic. Sophie was hoping for some honest and constructive criticism today, and if someone like Cody would insult Hiro for being clumsy, then she worried that her essay might receive a similarly brutal treatment.

Hopefully Cody is respectful of kindness. I'm curious what someone like him would write.
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Super Llama†
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#11

Post by Super Llama† »

"I-I think you have my paper." Hiro repeated when Cody didn't respond, though for a second she considered just letting him have the paper if it meant not getting his attention again.

Just then, one of the other girls approached and asked if she wanted to be part of her group (which apparently also consisted of the girl who asked if she was alright.) She was about to say yes, when the other girl in question also asked Cody. That...was maybe not a good idea. Maybe there was another group she could join? Hiro looked around the room, trying to find a group of 2 or 3 she could latch onto, and to her dismay found that every group was full. Dammit, couldn't somebody have taken a sick day today?

"O-okay." She said, finding no other option. This was going to be awkward.
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MK Kilmarnock
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#12

Post by MK Kilmarnock »

Hers.

Mine.

Her- no, wait, mine.

Hers. Do I even want to know what the fuck she wrote about?


Cody scowled down at his desk as he thumbed through paper after paper, attempting to sort out which pages were his and which ones belonged to the fucking weaboo who couldn't even be bothered to wake up to the fact she was alive. He acknowledged that, just maybe, he was being a little extra-grumpy today in dealing with the matters of his class. Even then, he was quick to justify the actions by attaching them to just how much of a shitty day this was turning out to be. He just wanted to hand in this paper and be done with it, and it was bad enough that he couldn't just simply do that and be done with it; instead, there was whole 'sharing with a partner' business. Then, on top of the matter, Hiro had gone and wasted his time.

"Also, Cody, would you like to join our group? Looks like the four of us are the only ones without a complete group," a voice that was almost definitely Sophie's called to him.

Cody felt his jaw tighten a bit when he thought about showing his work to others. It wasn't that he was particularly self-conscious about his writing, just... Well, actually, that hit pretty close to how he was feeling. Cody never felt like much of a strong writer, but visibly, he had always been out there to succeed. On the field, in the hallway, he was a social and athletic juggernaut to this school. When it came to academics, as his relative field of weakness, Cody tried to confront it as little as possible. Regardless, what had to be done had to be done. He had been asked a question, and it was time to swallow the disgust at being paired with her in order to work well and generally play it cool.

"Huh? Yeah, alright," Cody said simply, giving a little lift of the head in acknowledgement prior to the statement. Sophie wasn't his choice for company at all; she came off as too sketchy for him, but she was sane enough that he could handle her without wanting to shove a blackboard eraser down her throat. He turned and saw his other group members: Cynthia was just fine, he figured she'd be tolerable, and Hiro was... well, enough said with her.

He didn't even bother saying anything as he flipped the pages that he had determined to be Hiro's onto her desk. He hadn't even bothered to put them in the proper order, since that was really more her problem than his. At least he had given them back.

"Who's getting whose?"
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blastinus
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#13

Post by blastinus »

Unbelievable. Before Cynthia had even worked up the gumption to ask Cody to join them, Sophie had already run in and taken the bullet for her. Problem solved, and all without the volleyball player needing to lift a muscle. If only all things could be this easy.

Ignoring Hiro's visible discomfort at Cody being a part of the group, she pulled her own paper out and gave it a quick once-over one last time in order to be sure it was the right one. "Clockwise seems easiest," she said, and passed hers over to Cody without waiting for anyone else to agree on this. "Sorry about the spelling mistake on page three," she said ahead of time. "I noticed it was supposed to be 'you're' instead of 'your.'" Of course, that wasn't every spelling mistake that was there, but she'd probably hear about that soon enough.

Honestly, Cynthia hated criticism. Sure, she was struggling to make good grades, and sure, she could pay more attention in class, but she was trying so hard. Being told that her work was bad when she put so much effort into it was disheartening for the girl, and she gave pleading eyes towards Cody in the hopes that he'd overlook some of the more major errors. The Heartbreaker, after all, was a story of romance and tragedy, and the overall mood and drama surely made up for the fact that she was just making up the second half as she went.

"So, uh...what do you think?" she said anxiously, hoping for a good review.
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#14

Post by Laurels »

"Clockwise works for me too," said Sophie.

After seeing Cynthia pass her essay to Cody, Sophie passed hers to Cynthia.

"Okay, hope you like this," Sophie said. "It's a fantasy story, so I hope you don't find it too silly."

Sophie was open for criticism. As an artist, she knew she needed to keep trying if she wanted to be a master of her craft, and so she needed to be pushed in the right direction.

"Hiro, I'll take yours," she said, holding her hand out to Hiro.

I bet Hiro wrote something really cute.
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#15

Post by Super Llama† »

"Methuselah had a pretty big problem. And that problem was skinning people alive."

Adorable.

Hiro's story went on, chronicling a chapter's worth of narrative of the efforts of a detective attempting catch an elusive serial killer before he struck again. As she passed her papers to Sophie, Sophie's went to Cynthia, Cynthia's went to Cody, and Cody's...

Uh oh.

Hiro most definitely did NOT feel comfortable about the notion of having to critique Cody's story, half-expecting some kind of...reprecussions if she found too much to gripe about. Hiro swallowed hard. This was not turning out to be a good day.
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