((Min-jae Parker, Dorothy Shelly, and Asha Sur continued from Devil's Choir))
Waking up was a slow drag out of deep, dreamless fog, but it wasn't as unpleasant as being awake previously had been. The light through the chapel's windows was fading fast now, casting everything in a dreamy gray light as rain pattered against the roof. The chapel was drafty, and Jae found himself again wishing that he still had his jacket.
He sat up in the pew with a quiet groan, taking stock of which protests his body was most vehemently making before moving to do anything else. Headache was still there, definitely a nicotine craving this time, but it wasn't as bad as it had been. He was still aching, with additional stiffness from sleeping on an unforgiving wooden surface, but his hands were steady as he pulled his bag over and grabbed a water bottle. His stomach reminded him a moment later that he also hadn't eaten all day, and he shoveled down one of the protein bars, trying not to pause long enough to really taste it. What he wouldn't give for... well, just about anything else that constituted real food, and not this crap.
A brief scan of the church confirmed that the barricade Asha and Dorothy had erected had done its job, if anymore uninvited guests had come by, and Dorothy was asleep herself in another of the pews. Asha was lounging nearby.
"Hey," he said, rubbing a hand over his face, voice still slightly slurred from sleep. "What time's it?" Not that any of them had a watch or a phone.
Jae paused to really take a look at Asha as he waited for her reply. His original assessment seemed pretty accurate, in that she didn't look hurt or otherwise much worse for wear. She'd seemed herself earlier, certainly. The first couldn't be said for him, but he wondered if the second part could. Do I seem like I'm going crazy? didn't seem like an appropriate thing to ask right off the bat, now that they actually had a chance to talk. Did you know I was really thinking about killing Michael? Did I look just like Alvaro had?
Better to start off with small talk.
Happy Hour with the Deicide Squad
Evening/Night Day 3; PM for entry please
Happy Hour with the Deicide Squad
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
Asha was casually lying down on the platform where they'd proudly display the corpses lucky enough to have an open-casket funeral, dressed up in an eternal Sunday's best. She felt comfortable, knowing she belonged there as much as any dead patient. The only thing that still separated her from them now was a matter of mere days; the small formality of making sure her heart had finally stopped trying to prolong a foregone conclusion.
This time, Asha had made sure not to fall asleep. Not out of any real practical concern, the mess they'd piled up in front of the chapel doors would take enough work to shove aside that everyone except Dot would be long awake before any new intruders showed their faces. She really just wanted to mend her pride as a mediocre watchdog. Not like the big, fluffy "boof" dogs, unfortunately. She was more similar to an ankle-biter that happened to have electric teeth. Giving Isabel a chance to sneak up on her and Dot wasn't something she could easily forget or laugh off.
She had plenty of time to think as Dot and Jae snored; staring at the single stained glass window that was the only really interesting thing in the room. Another day spent hiding away, doing nothing in particular. At least this time she'd achieved a net gain of one friend to help feel better. Hell, if she and Dot hadn't walked into the chapel when they had, Jae could easily be dead right now. Or maybe Brendan, Al, or Michael would have been. Any combination of those corpses would be less than ideal. She really did have the ability to help people!
Did that mean she would have almost certainly been able to help Danny if she had been there, then? If she hadn't been content to waste the day and let Iz run away? The exciting events of the day had been able to keep Asha's mind busy and focused on happy morbidity, but the empty hours that passed left her with nothing to do but to picture her friend's face and remember the good times they'd had. Permanently in past tense, now.
It was a relief when Jae finally woke up, chasing away Danny's sadly only metaphorical ghost. "It's time for you to get a watch, nerd." Asha sat up, yawned, stretched, tried to work out the crick in her neck that had developed from lying on something that hadn't exactly been designed with comfort in mind.
"Other than that, it's evening-ish I guess? You guys have been out for a while, now. You'd think that it's been a stressful day or something!" She smirked.
This time, Asha had made sure not to fall asleep. Not out of any real practical concern, the mess they'd piled up in front of the chapel doors would take enough work to shove aside that everyone except Dot would be long awake before any new intruders showed their faces. She really just wanted to mend her pride as a mediocre watchdog. Not like the big, fluffy "boof" dogs, unfortunately. She was more similar to an ankle-biter that happened to have electric teeth. Giving Isabel a chance to sneak up on her and Dot wasn't something she could easily forget or laugh off.
She had plenty of time to think as Dot and Jae snored; staring at the single stained glass window that was the only really interesting thing in the room. Another day spent hiding away, doing nothing in particular. At least this time she'd achieved a net gain of one friend to help feel better. Hell, if she and Dot hadn't walked into the chapel when they had, Jae could easily be dead right now. Or maybe Brendan, Al, or Michael would have been. Any combination of those corpses would be less than ideal. She really did have the ability to help people!
Did that mean she would have almost certainly been able to help Danny if she had been there, then? If she hadn't been content to waste the day and let Iz run away? The exciting events of the day had been able to keep Asha's mind busy and focused on happy morbidity, but the empty hours that passed left her with nothing to do but to picture her friend's face and remember the good times they'd had. Permanently in past tense, now.
It was a relief when Jae finally woke up, chasing away Danny's sadly only metaphorical ghost. "It's time for you to get a watch, nerd." Asha sat up, yawned, stretched, tried to work out the crick in her neck that had developed from lying on something that hadn't exactly been designed with comfort in mind.
"Other than that, it's evening-ish I guess? You guys have been out for a while, now. You'd think that it's been a stressful day or something!" She smirked.
Of course Asha was still herself. For a moment, it was hard to remember why he'd ever thought she might not be.
Jae stretched, rolling his neck and shoulders and arching his back until everything popped satisfyingly. After a moment's thought, he leaned over to slide his boots off and flexed his feet, wiggling his toes to ease any approaching soreness from being crammed into his boots for three or four days straight without relief. The fact that he'd been wearing the same socks that whole time too wasn't great at this point, but what could you do.
"Maybe I'm just getting old and I need my sleep," he quipped back at Asha. It was easy, their back and forth. Easy to act like he still had a chance of growing old someday.
To say the day had been stressful was an understatement, between the almost-attempted murder and the... actual murder that he'd been involved in. Samuel, Brendan, Michael, and Mr. Prospector in short succession would have rocketed him to the top of Danya's list, if he was counting right. How many other lists would he make it onto? Jae wasn't delusional enough to think that just because he hated someone, there wouldn't be anyone else out to avenge them. Hell, Brendan had gone and won a fucking prize for killing someone on behalf of Nancy, sweeping everyone else up into his web of utter failure along the way.
Asha's intervention had meant that he didn't have to wonder about that beyond an abstraction. There was no point on dwelling on it, but the thought lingered anyway.
Jae draped one arm over the back of the pew and leaned back, turning his full attention back to Asha. "Long day aside, how've you been?"
Jae stretched, rolling his neck and shoulders and arching his back until everything popped satisfyingly. After a moment's thought, he leaned over to slide his boots off and flexed his feet, wiggling his toes to ease any approaching soreness from being crammed into his boots for three or four days straight without relief. The fact that he'd been wearing the same socks that whole time too wasn't great at this point, but what could you do.
"Maybe I'm just getting old and I need my sleep," he quipped back at Asha. It was easy, their back and forth. Easy to act like he still had a chance of growing old someday.
To say the day had been stressful was an understatement, between the almost-attempted murder and the... actual murder that he'd been involved in. Samuel, Brendan, Michael, and Mr. Prospector in short succession would have rocketed him to the top of Danya's list, if he was counting right. How many other lists would he make it onto? Jae wasn't delusional enough to think that just because he hated someone, there wouldn't be anyone else out to avenge them. Hell, Brendan had gone and won a fucking prize for killing someone on behalf of Nancy, sweeping everyone else up into his web of utter failure along the way.
Asha's intervention had meant that he didn't have to wonder about that beyond an abstraction. There was no point on dwelling on it, but the thought lingered anyway.
Jae draped one arm over the back of the pew and leaned back, turning his full attention back to Asha. "Long day aside, how've you been?"
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
Dorothy's body stayed but her mind wandered back where it all started.
(She dreamt of a better world.)
(She dreamt of a better world.)
"Well, I've got my health. And Dot. And you, now! Things could be a lot worse, to be honest." It would have been easy to leave it at that, to downplay what Asha had gone through the past two days and jump right to the much more important matter of what the hell had happened to Jae; but he wasn't stupid. He knew her well enough that any attempt to hastily pave over the corpses littering her mental sidewalk would be noticed and unappreciated. Besides, she'd have to explain eventually why she and Dot only had one bag between the two of them.
God, Asha'd been parched for hours, now; but she hadn't been able to bring herself to drink any of her friends' water without their permission. She'd managed to push that thirst to the side for a while, physical discomfort displaced by grief, but watching Jae down his water had brought it back into focus. Oh well.
"Like, when this all started, we - me and Dot - were with some asshole we found on the beach. Wayne. He seemed like a chill enough guy, but during the first night he ditched us when he was supposed to be keeping watch. Took my bag, too. When I woke up it turned out that Iz had found us and had been staring at me for like an hour, so that was fun!" She laughed a little, realizing how scary that had to sound to, well, basically anyone who knew Isabel, or had heard of Isabel, or had a vague concept of an Isabel in the fearful parts of their brains.
"So I've only got one shot for my taser, now, and we're running real low on supplies. Aside from that - well, you heard Danny's name on the announcements." Asha didn't bother to force a fake smile, for once. At least she'd gotten over the whole "crying" bit for the moment; not that numbness was much better.
God, Asha'd been parched for hours, now; but she hadn't been able to bring herself to drink any of her friends' water without their permission. She'd managed to push that thirst to the side for a while, physical discomfort displaced by grief, but watching Jae down his water had brought it back into focus. Oh well.
"Like, when this all started, we - me and Dot - were with some asshole we found on the beach. Wayne. He seemed like a chill enough guy, but during the first night he ditched us when he was supposed to be keeping watch. Took my bag, too. When I woke up it turned out that Iz had found us and had been staring at me for like an hour, so that was fun!" She laughed a little, realizing how scary that had to sound to, well, basically anyone who knew Isabel, or had heard of Isabel, or had a vague concept of an Isabel in the fearful parts of their brains.
"So I've only got one shot for my taser, now, and we're running real low on supplies. Aside from that - well, you heard Danny's name on the announcements." Asha didn't bother to force a fake smile, for once. At least she'd gotten over the whole "crying" bit for the moment; not that numbness was much better.
"Holy shit, Asha." Jae couldn't do much more than grimace as Asha recounted what she and Dorothy had been through. You could say they'd gotten off lightly, comparatively, but having her stuff stolen and then a run-in with Isabel of all people had to be its own kind of hell.
He could do something for her in the way of supplies, at least; he had a surplus now. "You should have said something sooner. Did you eat today?" Jae dug a couple of food bars and an unopened bottle of water from his bag and tossed them over near her. "Here."
"Isabel was just sitting there staring at you though? That's fucking creepy." Like the fact that Isabel could legally be classified a spree killer wasn't fucked up enough for her, so she had to go around creeping on people too. It didn't seem like Isabel had attacked them since Asha still had that taser charge and she and Dorothy were both in one piece, but the thought of her sitting there while the two of them slept, with only that single taser charge for protection, was chilling.
Just like the thought of Hazel and Jordan asleep and unaware in the garage, their designated watchman having abandoned his post. Neither of them had a weapon. Jae had left them a handful of protein bars and his jacket and no explanation. Now he was safe and in good company on the other side of the island, and he had no idea where they were or how they were doing. For all he knew, he'd hear them listed off in the morning as helplessly as Asha had listened to Danny's name.
Well. There went his good mood.
He could do something for her in the way of supplies, at least; he had a surplus now. "You should have said something sooner. Did you eat today?" Jae dug a couple of food bars and an unopened bottle of water from his bag and tossed them over near her. "Here."
"Isabel was just sitting there staring at you though? That's fucking creepy." Like the fact that Isabel could legally be classified a spree killer wasn't fucked up enough for her, so she had to go around creeping on people too. It didn't seem like Isabel had attacked them since Asha still had that taser charge and she and Dorothy were both in one piece, but the thought of her sitting there while the two of them slept, with only that single taser charge for protection, was chilling.
Just like the thought of Hazel and Jordan asleep and unaware in the garage, their designated watchman having abandoned his post. Neither of them had a weapon. Jae had left them a handful of protein bars and his jacket and no explanation. Now he was safe and in good company on the other side of the island, and he had no idea where they were or how they were doing. For all he knew, he'd hear them listed off in the morning as helplessly as Asha had listened to Danny's name.
Well. There went his good mood.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
"Thanks!" Asha called out as she caught Jae's rations. She had to stop herself from gulping the entire bottle of water down within seconds of opening it - she vaguely recalled that being a less-than-healthy thing to do, and even with the extra bag, they still had to try and conserve their supplies. She reluctantly recapped the bottle after taking care of the worst of her thirst, absently wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "We've been splitting the stuff in Dot's bag for the last couple of days, and we're almost out."
"And yeah, it was creepy. Like, real talk? I'm pretty sure the only reason we're still alive is that Iz still thought that I liked her, y'know, because ballet and shit. I, uh, made it pretty clear that wasn't the case, so maybe don't waste any time on saying 'hi' if we run into her again." Asha wasn't gonna say 'please shoot her,' but she didn't exactly care enough to completely remove that option from the table.
"Enough about me, though. You wanna talk about who fucked you up?" It was about time to address the limping elephant in the room, if Jae felt comfortable enough to do so.
"And yeah, it was creepy. Like, real talk? I'm pretty sure the only reason we're still alive is that Iz still thought that I liked her, y'know, because ballet and shit. I, uh, made it pretty clear that wasn't the case, so maybe don't waste any time on saying 'hi' if we run into her again." Asha wasn't gonna say 'please shoot her,' but she didn't exactly care enough to completely remove that option from the table.
"Enough about me, though. You wanna talk about who fucked you up?" It was about time to address the limping elephant in the room, if Jae felt comfortable enough to do so.
Well, he'd known they would have to get here sooner or later. "You want a list in chronological or alphabetical order?" Pretty much the only person he'd come across so far who hadn't had a hand in screwing with him physically or mentally was Vanessa, and he supposed Jordan. But Asha wouldn't accept him just dancing around the subject.
Jae heaved a deep sigh. "I ran into Alvaro pretty much as soon as I woke up the first morning, and he tried to tear my fucking face off. Stumbled around like an idiot for a bit, ran into Vanessa and she patched me up. We found Hazel..." He trailed off. What was there to say about what had happened without making him sound like a huge douchebag? By the way, I lost my virginity last night and it was awful. And I don't think I'm into girls, great time to figure that out, right? "Vans went her own way, and I stayed the night with Hazel and her friend. And then I left."
Yes, and then he left. Like a fucking coward. Running from probably the only person who had ever tried to love him because he had lied to her face that he loved her back and didn't want to face trying to explain why it wasn't true.
"You know the rest, after that."
Jae heaved a deep sigh. "I ran into Alvaro pretty much as soon as I woke up the first morning, and he tried to tear my fucking face off. Stumbled around like an idiot for a bit, ran into Vanessa and she patched me up. We found Hazel..." He trailed off. What was there to say about what had happened without making him sound like a huge douchebag? By the way, I lost my virginity last night and it was awful. And I don't think I'm into girls, great time to figure that out, right? "Vans went her own way, and I stayed the night with Hazel and her friend. And then I left."
Yes, and then he left. Like a fucking coward. Running from probably the only person who had ever tried to love him because he had lied to her face that he loved her back and didn't want to face trying to explain why it wasn't true.
"You know the rest, after that."
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
Asha nodded. "Yeah."
She'd had plenty of time over her watch to try and prepare a spiel for Jae; some sort of comforting philosophy for him. 'You're gonna be dead soon anyway. Why spend the rest of your life feeling guilty about a mistake you made? The guy you killed isn't in pain anymore, at least.' Oh, none of that was wrong, but it didn't seem welcome. Blunt, graceless. A pirouette that seamlessly transitioned into a faceplant, directly into a waiting grave.
If Jae didn't want to talk about it, she wasn't going to force the issue, wasn't going to stab at his wounds to make absolutely sure his guilt made its way out in the open for everyone to see and judge. If he asked for help or advice, she would gladly give it, but for now there was only one thing that needed to be said.
"I'm glad you're alive, Jae." Asha smiled.
She'd had plenty of time over her watch to try and prepare a spiel for Jae; some sort of comforting philosophy for him. 'You're gonna be dead soon anyway. Why spend the rest of your life feeling guilty about a mistake you made? The guy you killed isn't in pain anymore, at least.' Oh, none of that was wrong, but it didn't seem welcome. Blunt, graceless. A pirouette that seamlessly transitioned into a faceplant, directly into a waiting grave.
If Jae didn't want to talk about it, she wasn't going to force the issue, wasn't going to stab at his wounds to make absolutely sure his guilt made its way out in the open for everyone to see and judge. If he asked for help or advice, she would gladly give it, but for now there was only one thing that needed to be said.
"I'm glad you're alive, Jae." Asha smiled.
"I'm glad you're alive, too." Jae closed his eyes for a moment. What else was there to say? For days, he'd been bursting at the seams with the need to spill everything out to someone. He almost wanted Asha to grill him for it, so he'd at least have some excuse for going off on a rant.
"I fucked up, Asha." There, that about summed it up. "You can say that, if you're thinking it. I know I fucked up. I got pissed off, I got- I got scared. I ran away and..." He made a sweeping hand gesture, which he supposed was now sign for "I fucking murdered someone". "The last time I walked up to someone I didn't completely trust without considering they might fucking kill me, Alvaro almost did."
And now he was here, making excuses to someone who had never asked for them. He and Asha were pretty much on the same wavelength, spiritually. He didn't have to worry about her damning him to hell or telling him that Samuel's ghost might show up to haunt him, or something stupid like that. He couldn't say the same for most other people, even the ones who knew him.
There was a lump in his throat, and he futilely tried to swallow past it. "I should have said no," he mumbled, more to himself than to Asha.
"I fucked up, Asha." There, that about summed it up. "You can say that, if you're thinking it. I know I fucked up. I got pissed off, I got- I got scared. I ran away and..." He made a sweeping hand gesture, which he supposed was now sign for "I fucking murdered someone". "The last time I walked up to someone I didn't completely trust without considering they might fucking kill me, Alvaro almost did."
And now he was here, making excuses to someone who had never asked for them. He and Asha were pretty much on the same wavelength, spiritually. He didn't have to worry about her damning him to hell or telling him that Samuel's ghost might show up to haunt him, or something stupid like that. He couldn't say the same for most other people, even the ones who knew him.
There was a lump in his throat, and he futilely tried to swallow past it. "I should have said no," he mumbled, more to himself than to Asha.
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
There it was.
Asha didn't understand what that last bit had meant - maybe something to do with Samuel, or Vanessa, or Hazel - but in the grand scheme of things, that didn't matter. (Of course, in the grandest scheme of things, nothing mattered, but there was a time and a place for that level of existential shrugging, and that wasn't when you were trying to comfort a friend.)
"You fucked up," Asha agreed. Not a judgement, not an excuse. Just a statement of a fact neither of them were arguing about. "But there's nothing you can do about that now, so you just gotta be extra careful not to cause anyone else pain, alright?" She wasn't really familiar enough with Buddhism to try and think about what redemption Jae could hope for from that angle, so she settled for focusing on making the earthliest difference they could with their stolen time.
"And you don't gotta worry, now. You can trust Dot. You can trust me, obviously. We'll all look out for each other."
Asha didn't understand what that last bit had meant - maybe something to do with Samuel, or Vanessa, or Hazel - but in the grand scheme of things, that didn't matter. (Of course, in the grandest scheme of things, nothing mattered, but there was a time and a place for that level of existential shrugging, and that wasn't when you were trying to comfort a friend.)
"You fucked up," Asha agreed. Not a judgement, not an excuse. Just a statement of a fact neither of them were arguing about. "But there's nothing you can do about that now, so you just gotta be extra careful not to cause anyone else pain, alright?" She wasn't really familiar enough with Buddhism to try and think about what redemption Jae could hope for from that angle, so she settled for focusing on making the earthliest difference they could with their stolen time.
"And you don't gotta worry, now. You can trust Dot. You can trust me, obviously. We'll all look out for each other."
Be careful not to hurt anyone else. It was a nice thought, Jae supposed. A nice intention.
Good intentions had rarely gotten him anywhere, and he had a habit of hurting people even when he wasn't trying to. Brendan was chock-full of good intentions, and look how that had ended up for him and everyone around him. Maybe Jae was a scorpion where Brendan was a swan, but they were both going to drown regardless. If Jae had any say in the matter, he wasn't going out passively, even if most of what he believed dictated that he'd be better off if he did. It was hard to care about how many lives you had lived and would live when all you were aware of was this one. Jae rather liked this life, current dilemma notwithstanding. The thought that it might all have been a waste weighed down until it crushed him.
"I can try," he said, leaving a million what-ifs unspoken. What if they saw Isabel again? Michael? Some other motherfucker with a gun and the intent to use it? Asha might be cool with death as an abstraction, but when it was real and visceral and in your face, it was a lot less mysterious and attractive.
God, he wanted to stop thinking. Keep talking. Find something, anything, to go on about.
"Okay, you want another bombshell?" Jae barely paused for an answer before plowing on ahead, needing to speak before he chickened out again. "I think I'm gay."
Good intentions had rarely gotten him anywhere, and he had a habit of hurting people even when he wasn't trying to. Brendan was chock-full of good intentions, and look how that had ended up for him and everyone around him. Maybe Jae was a scorpion where Brendan was a swan, but they were both going to drown regardless. If Jae had any say in the matter, he wasn't going out passively, even if most of what he believed dictated that he'd be better off if he did. It was hard to care about how many lives you had lived and would live when all you were aware of was this one. Jae rather liked this life, current dilemma notwithstanding. The thought that it might all have been a waste weighed down until it crushed him.
"I can try," he said, leaving a million what-ifs unspoken. What if they saw Isabel again? Michael? Some other motherfucker with a gun and the intent to use it? Asha might be cool with death as an abstraction, but when it was real and visceral and in your face, it was a lot less mysterious and attractive.
God, he wanted to stop thinking. Keep talking. Find something, anything, to go on about.
"Okay, you want another bombshell?" Jae barely paused for an answer before plowing on ahead, needing to speak before he chickened out again. "I think I'm gay."
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."
"Helluva time to figure that out, man," Asha said, heroically keeping a straight face. Not because it was funny, no; just because it was probably the thing she had least expected to hear at that moment. The same urge that lead to people bursting out in laughter at funerals that didn't feature stories about that one time the deceased drunkenly mistook a bush for a grizzly bear and charged at it, screaming for everyone else to save themselves.
It was pretty fucking tragic to only figure out such an important thing about yourself days before you were gonna die. So much wasted time, so much potential love lost. Asha supposed that she was lucky that she had figured out her sexuality years ago, in comfortable surroundings with supportive family. She could only imagine what Jae was going through right now.
"If you wanna talk about it, I'll listen as much as you need." That would have to do for the moment.
It was pretty fucking tragic to only figure out such an important thing about yourself days before you were gonna die. So much wasted time, so much potential love lost. Asha supposed that she was lucky that she had figured out her sexuality years ago, in comfortable surroundings with supportive family. She could only imagine what Jae was going through right now.
"If you wanna talk about it, I'll listen as much as you need." That would have to do for the moment.
((Dorothy came back to the bad world.))
"Oh my god!"
Her hands were wrapped around her throat. There was no metallic shards stuck in her throat, and if the collar didn't count, nothing was out of the ordinary. She was just really sweaty and her body ached from laying down on a pew.
But the dream felt so real she had to make sure she was still in one piece. She patted her face, her neck, and her legs, and everything was there. No pain other than her irritated skin from the collar's rubbing and her back screaming at her for laying down in a bad position.
She painfully breathed in and out, feeling the air going inside of her and then exiting her lungs. She could still breath, so she assumed her lungs were in one piece too. She didn't gargle on her blood or choke on it so that was also a good sign.
She sat straight up, her hands on her mouth. The smell of death and blood wasn't there anymore, it smelled old but that was okay. She shuddered and started whispering behind her fingers,
"Oh my gosh, what the hell."
"Oh my god!"
Her hands were wrapped around her throat. There was no metallic shards stuck in her throat, and if the collar didn't count, nothing was out of the ordinary. She was just really sweaty and her body ached from laying down on a pew.
But the dream felt so real she had to make sure she was still in one piece. She patted her face, her neck, and her legs, and everything was there. No pain other than her irritated skin from the collar's rubbing and her back screaming at her for laying down in a bad position.
She painfully breathed in and out, feeling the air going inside of her and then exiting her lungs. She could still breath, so she assumed her lungs were in one piece too. She didn't gargle on her blood or choke on it so that was also a good sign.
She sat straight up, her hands on her mouth. The smell of death and blood wasn't there anymore, it smelled old but that was okay. She shuddered and started whispering behind her fingers,
"Oh my gosh, what the hell."
There it was, out in the open. The first time he'd really acknowledged it, much less said anything out loud. For a moment, there was a brief flash of champagne bubbles on his tongue and the stifling heat of a room at someone's house party, but Asha spoke up again and it was gone as quickly as it came.
"I don't know what else there is to say about it," Jae said. What he actually meant, of course, was that with everything that could be said, there wasn't much he wanted to say. He'd never spoken about what happened with Isaac and the fact that he'd never heard anything about it said Isaac had done the same. What had happened with Hazel in the garage was only between the two of them. (Hopefully. God, he hoped Jordan had been soundly asleep through the whole thing.)
Maybe later he could talk about it, if they had time. What he wanted more than anything was just more time.
Dorothy's sudden exclamation made Jae jump, and for a second he had the ridiculous thought that she was reacting belatedly to his confession. Turning to look at her, it was obvious she'd just woken up. Dreaming, probably, or getting hit with the sudden realization once again of where she was and what was going on.
"You, uh... you okay?"
"I don't know what else there is to say about it," Jae said. What he actually meant, of course, was that with everything that could be said, there wasn't much he wanted to say. He'd never spoken about what happened with Isaac and the fact that he'd never heard anything about it said Isaac had done the same. What had happened with Hazel in the garage was only between the two of them. (Hopefully. God, he hoped Jordan had been soundly asleep through the whole thing.)
Maybe later he could talk about it, if they had time. What he wanted more than anything was just more time.
Dorothy's sudden exclamation made Jae jump, and for a second he had the ridiculous thought that she was reacting belatedly to his confession. Turning to look at her, it was obvious she'd just woken up. Dreaming, probably, or getting hit with the sudden realization once again of where she was and what was going on.
"You, uh... you okay?"
"Art enriches the community, Steve, no less than a pulsing fire hose, or a fireman beating down a blazing door. So what if we're drawing a nude man? So what if all we ever draw is a nude man, or the same nude man over and over in all sorts of provocative positions? Context, not content! Process, not subject! Don't be so gauche, Steve, it's beneath you."