I'll Face Myself

[Espi]

((Theodore Fletcher's story continues from Leave My Body))

Theo gazed up at the roller coaster. It was pretty magnificent, massive and strong and still standing despite apparently no activity in what was likely years.

Theo felt it was mocking him.

Would he be standing in years? Days? Hours? Minutes? Could he die today? Would he die today? What ifs were everywhere, he had such little control over his situation.

Except he killed a girl. Had anyone else died? Was he just another killer, or had he just made the first kill in this version? He snorted at the prospect. Theodore Fletcher, the first murderer in SOTF V5? It was crazy, like hearing, "Theo Fletcher, President!" or something. He would be known now by people. People would know his name, exactly what he did, he'd basically be famous.

Was that a good thing?

Theo didn't know. He needed to think about it.

Theo found the booth for riders to wait in line. It was decrepit, but seemed a safe hiding place. He walked in, and gazed out at the bright sun, and he pondered some more. He needed to move on from this now. He couldn't give up after all he'd done. He'd murdered a man and girl in cold blood. It could possibly be justified for Hansel as an accident, but Gabby had no excuse. He'd gunner her down like she didn't matter to him.

Did he like it?

No. He pictured Gabby's corpse rotting alone in that picturesque overview, and choked back vomit. He wanted to go home, and pretend it was just a dream, he wasn't here, but he was. It was all real. Theo had no escape; he couldn't say, "this game sucks" and turn it off and go play Persona or something. He had to play to the end. No continues, no retries, nothing. Win or die, those were his options now. Escape? Hah! Escaping was out of the question at this point, he knew bitterly. He wouldn't be let off like last time. Murderers got left behind.

So he had to win.

Or he'd die.

Theo stood. He knew he needed to keep alive now. Logic was key, so he spent roughly 20 minutes trying to figure out a safe strategy. He wanted to avoid dying so he could make it to the end. That was top priority. Killing in self-defense, maybe if he had to. If it was him or them, he had to choose himself. But until it was the Final 4, he wanted to avoid becoming a huge killer. Two kills was good for a first day, mathematically. But he needed to avoid getting a massive score and alienating everyone. Being a threat was good. Being a target? Bad.

As Theo left behind the magnificent coaster, he knew he was going to try to live now. Gabby's face as she screamed at him would never leave his mind. But perhaps he could make amends if he lived. Hopefully.

Theo stood. He needed to get something off his chest. He looked around until he saw a camera, nestled in a crook of the coaster. He spoke, "To Gabby Parker's family, and Hansel William's I uh, I want to apologize. I'm sorry for loss, and I'll make it up to the both of you the best I can if I get out of here. And to Nancy," he added, voice thick, "I'm sorry for what I've done. You deserve a better big brother." Theo sighed, gazed at the filthy overgrown ground, and trudged away.

His heart was heavy as he left the area.

((Theodore Fletcher's story continues in A New World Fool))